In my last column, I wrote about our Empty Nest Syndrome. What I neglected to mention is how that Empty Nest was achieved. In short, I did not talk about the Moving Days, the days where heavy stuff needed to be moved from one location to another location. Moving Days are basically not fun, but with our crew, they are always entertaining. Plus coffee and bagels were served.
Our youngest son Donnie and his girlfriend Michelle moved into their new apartment on the hottest day since official weather records began being recorded. It was a Saturday in August and the mercury soared to 175 degrees in the shade. Okay, it wasn’t that hot. But it felt like it.
In this case, my advanced age was a blessing. I didn’t carry anything more heavy than a lamp. But the guys lugged a huge sofa and love seat, a bedroom set, a dining room table and chairs, and other items.
And the girls? Alexis (lifelong friend of our eldest son George and wife of Donnie’s friend), who stands barely 5 feet tall and weighs 95 pounds if she’s wearing earrings, hefted stuff that would bring some men to their knees. Michelle, also small and slim, carried mattresses and tables like they were feathers. And Marisa, George’s girl, another petite one, lugged furniture, full drawers and other heavy stuff like it was nothing.
Getting the furniture out of the place was not the problem. Getting it into Don and Michelle’s new place was another story. First off, the rental truck came with a furniture dolly with wheels. Donnie and his friend, DJ. immediately began riding on it. They pushed each other on it, pulled each other down the sidewalk on it, sat on it, lay down on it and otherwise entertained themselves on that dolly.
Getting the sofa into the apartment was a comedy of errors. My husband George, Donnie and DJ attempted every possible angle to try and fit it through the doorway. Backing up, moving forward, going sideways, nothing worked. The three of them were sweating (and swearing) and arguing, and I was standing outside, having to urgently use the restroom (I couldn’t, though, because there was a sofa blocking my way).
Georgie, inside the apartment, was yelling helpful hints. I was doing a little dance step outside (restroom, remember?), and Donnie was ready to remove the doorframe. DJ kept saying, “This is not hard. It is simple geometry. Simple. I got a D in it.” They finally got the sofa into the apartment.
George and Marisa’s moving day was one of those springlike December days. We moved Marisa out of her place into George’s house. Again, my age was a plus. I carried lamps and bedding. Then I stood around and gave orders. I am good at that.
The problem with this move was the staircase in George’s house. It has a narrow landing three steps up. So trying to get a queen-sized mattress, dressers and nightstands up those stairs was another three-act comedy. All I could hear was grunting and groaning and an occasional muttered swear word, and Donnie yelling, “Pivot!”
I tried to carry an empty drawer from a nightstand up the stairs and ended up dropping it on my foot. So I busied myself drinking coffee and taking pictures. I also shared pertinent information, such as “Bohren’s not only moves stuff, they pack it for you too,” “United Van Lines had a coupon in the Money Saver mailer last week,” and “Mayflower employs professional movers who know how to move stuff without gouging walls and doorframes.” I shared this information loudly, but I don’t know if anyone was listening.
I also diverted attention from the physical work of moving by getting locked into George’s downstairs bathroom. (It happens every time I use the bathroom there. I somehow lock it when I shut the door.) I banged on the door for a few minutes until someone came and shouted directions through the door on how to open it. All in all, I believe that it was a nice break from the exertions of moving. You’re welcome.
So now everyone is settled. And I didn’t even break a nail.
Ilene Black has been a resident of Ewing for most of her life and lives across the street from her childhood home. She and her husband, George, have two sons, Georgie, 32, and Donnie, 28.
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