When a couple finds out that they are expecting a baby, they immediately start planning and imagining the lifelong memories that lie ahead of them. What will my baby look like? What should we name him or her? What will he or she become when they grow up? All of this happy anticipation fills their heads as the couple anxiously awaits the arrival of their new bundle of joy. Then, for a certain few, these dreams are quickly crushed when they deliver a stillborn baby. One in 160 pregnancies end in a stillbirth, yet not much attention is given to this devastating topic.
Allison and Brian DeLay experienced this crushing blow when their son Donovan was stillborn on September 30, 2012. Allison was having a healthy and easy pregnancy and the couple was looking forward to spending their 16 weeks of paid maternity leave and 12 weeks of paid paternity leave with their newborn son. Then one Saturday night at 31 weeks, something didn’t feel right so they called their doctor and he told them to come to the hospital. Sadly, by the time they arrived at the hospital, Donovan no longer had a heartbeat. The doctor rushed to do an emergency c-section when Allison started experiencing complications from severe preeclampsia. These complications left Allison in the hospital for 9 days, 6 of those days being in ICU. Two days after being discharged, she was rushed back to the hospital for further complications which would require daily visits to the doctor. Not only could she not drive to these appointments because of the c-section, but she was left with impaired vision as a result of the preeclampsia so she needed someone with her.
During this time, Brian contacted his employer and benefits administrator to notify them of what had just occurred. They informed him that he would only be entitled to 5 days of bereavement leave for the death of his son. He explained the condition his wife was in and asked if he could be given more time since this was related to the pregnancy. The benefits administrator transferred him from department to department, forcing him to repeat the agonizing details of what had just happened. Finally, one of the claims handlers asked if the baby had taken a breath when he was delivered which Brian sadly answered no. Their response was that if the baby had taken a breath, they could have approved him for the 12 weeks of paid leave, but since he didn’t, he would only be given the 5 days. After losing his son and nearly losing his wife, Brian now had to deal with the financial burden of giving up his income so he could stay home to help his wife recover. Having financially prepared for paid parental leaves, they were not in a position to lose part of their income.
After making it through this ordeal, Donovan’s parents wanted to do whatever they could to assist other families experiencing the same unexpected loss. Their charity, Donovan Delivers, was created to provide financial support to these families so they can take a few extra days or weeks of unpaid leave to help the grieving mother recover and to grieve themselves without worrying about how they will manage without their income. Unfortunately, most employers only provide 3 to 5 days of bereavement leave which is never enough time to deal with the loss of a child. No mother should have to physically recover from her delivery or grieve alone and the family’s energy should be focused on working through their grief, not stressing about returning to work. No one is ever prepared to lose a child, nor are they financially prepared to forego an income when they need additional time. Donovan Delivers wants to be there to help.
Donovan Delivers will be hosting its 1st annual Sunday Funday Brunch from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on November 8, 2015. The event will be held at the Hamilton Manor located at 30 Route 156 in Hamilton.
Families can come for food and fun, including a holiday photo from professional photographer Heather Palecek, face painting, balloon art, pottery by Color Me Mine and make your own stuffed animal. There will also be a special appearance by Elsa and Batman. Tickets are $25 per person and include brunch and a holiday family photo. All other entertainment will be $10 each with all proceeds benefiting Donovan Delivers.
For more information or to donate, visit donovandelivers.com.
