Another view of the ninth grade biology project at High School North##M:[more]##
My daughter came home breathlessly one sunny April day
She burst into the kitchen with so much she had to say.
A project in Biology, that much I seemed to grasp —
An animal experiment, the rest went way too fast.
No mice, I told her forcefully, I will not house them here.
You know how much we pay to just exterminate each year?
Don’t worry, said her father, there is no need for alarm.
We’ll get the mice without you, they won’t do you any harm.
“I will not lift a finger or a hand or raise an eye!
This project is between you two,” they heard this mother cry.
“The pet store said they’d take them back after the project’s through,”
My daughter said abruptly, “There’s nothing you’ll need to do.”
So out they went and brought back home eight pink eyed female mice.
They tried to have me look at them — they said they were so nice.
Two cages, bedding, water bottles, food and what is more
The mice already in the tanks were brought in through the door.
They also said the pet store had reneg’d on their old deal.
Suggesting they release them in the park as someone’s meal.
“It’s not your issue,” I’ve been told, but still it bothers me.
If they should live they’ll find a way back to our family.
The other kids surrounded them, as I was in my rage.
“Just make sure you keep them all within their little cage.”
“We did it all ourselves,” they said, “how does that make you feel?”
I thought about it, noticing there’s just one squeaky wheel.
So for a week I passed them by and would not take a look.
I did not search for “mouse care” on my mac or in a book.
But then a sharp aroma made me stop and have to think –
“Oh, daughter, clean the mice’s cage, you must know it does stink!”
“I would,” she said, “I really would, but it can’t be today.
I have no extra bedding, so you see there is no way!”
Their little solo trip was sure without a future view.
I guess there really was something that I would have to do.
So off I went to Petco to stock up on some supplies.
The shavings for the tank, of course, and then before my eyes
I saw the chew sticks that they need to keep their teeth from growing
And collected paper towel rolls for fun and for some gnawing.
Of course I bought a second wheel, how could I not do that?
For just three dollars why should four of her new mice get fat?
I paid for all my purchases, I brought them in the house
Some mothering is needed, even for a little mouse.
So soon I started looking at the cage when I went by
And then one day I spotted something with my eagle eye.
Three pink and ugly baby mice just huddled in a row.
A few choice words came to my lips, some stronger than “oh, no!”
“I guess some times you get a pregnant female from the store.”
Or so my daughter told me as I questioned her some more.
So now I searched the internet for female mice gestation
To calculate the likely day of mouse insemination.
Yes, it seemed, our mouse arrived most certainly with child
Twas good to know we hadn’t had a female mouse gone wild.
But three or four days passed and then my well-trained eagle eyes
Noticed that another mouse seemed lumpy – hey – surprise!
For a day we checked on her with some anticipation
Perhaps we’d see the miracle of mouse multiplication
But she delivered three of them before we heard the news
And we now had fourteen of them; good thing they don’t need shoes.
As the new mouse was cleaning all the babies one by one
The old mom mouse was helping her, as she did not seem done.
You’d think perhaps this birthing thing would more or less content her
But she reached back, pulled out, and then ate up her own placenta.
We left her to the privacy between the four glass walls
And soon the sound of squeakiness had echoed in the halls.
It seems the newest mother had more babies yet to come
She ended up with nine new mice – and I was just struck dumb.
We looked again around the tank, and much to our dismay
Another mouse appears to be in the -quote – family way.
The last mouse in the tank, I think, I suddenly can see
Is not the girl we thought she was – a smiling male is he.
So 20 mice and counting — there’s one more yet to explode
Who knew that when it came to mice, we’d hit the mother lode?
It’s obvious the male must move from the mouse nursery
But this is not my project so it can’t be up to me.
I can’t sit back without a care as mice invade my home
I think that for the summer I deserve some time alone.
Oh people, I implore you all, please find it in your heart
To take a mouse, or 2 or 3 – at least a few to start.
***********************
A post script on this episode, it’s now my time to tell
Although ‘twas not your problem, think you’re wondering as well
There was no clear solution that was suitable to me
And what might happen wasn’t fair to this mouse family.
Even though their problem of explosive population (32!)
Was due to their mouse tendencies towards over copulation
I didn’t want to see them all as targets in the park
While hawks and other birds of prey swooped on them in the dark.
I called that stupid pet store and explained our situation
(The problem due in no small part to their origination)
“You still sell mice, don’t turn away this free-of-charge mouse bounty
You’ll find these mice are famous throughout all of Mercer County.”
I think now on this point they had to just throw in the towel
So they agreed to take them back, the whole lock, stock, and barrel.
Although I can’t believe it, it is sad to see them go
Those mouse moms were amazing in the care that they did show.
I’ve heard “it takes a village,” or so says Hillary
But on this point I doubt that she would choose to disagree:
There still is truth when twisting up that wise but ancient adage —
Sometimes it takes a mother’s help to save a whole mouse village.
A science project gone awry, so many feel the same
Just counting all my mouse tails, this was just an awful shame.
They wanted students thinking, but completion of this task
Failed in oh so many ways if parents you would ask.
Some limits on selection would certainly be nice
If that’s the case I know I’d never end up with these mice!
The district claimed kids ran ahead of their project directions
But when too many do the same, the process needs corrections!
Our educators’ mission is to educate our kids
And surely they will say that this is what this project did.
However, I do quibble — on this one point I can say
The parents, sadly, are the ones who learned something today.
— Louise McAdams
