When my mom held her first grandchild, Katie, for the very first time, I saw her bend close to her ear and whisper, “You can grow up and be Miss America.” In her very next breath she added, “You can also become president. Why don’t you try to be both?”
The limitless world of possibilities my mother saw for her granddaughter is exactly the kind of world envisioned by Michelle Obama and crystallized in her mesmerizing performance last week at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia.
The beauty of her vision is that she sees that the possibilities should be open not only to her own two daughters, but to every child, no matter what color or background.
I wasn’t planning to get political again in this space. Like so many people who have articulated that they don’t see a great choice come November, I was tired of all the nonsense and rhetoric and considered sitting this one out. As much as I can’t stomach Donald Trump, I also couldn’t listen to Hillary Clinton any more.
She came off to me as strident and smug, her very voice as grating as nails on a chalkboard. Her actions also rubbed me the wrong way; for example, I thought her disregard for the security of her emails was careless at best and at worst highly dangerous and disrespectful of the sanctity and privacy of communications at the highest levels of government.
There was even a point during the Republican National Convention last week where—dare I confess this publicly—I saw a glimmer behind the curtain and could understand the appeal of Trump. Certainly, I was impressed by his children, especially his daughter, Ivanka, a businesswoman, mother and former model who embodies intelligence and poise and if she were running for office, I would consider voting for her. She was speaking to the heart of the American woman and I heard what she was saying.
All five of Trump’s children have grown up without a single want, but the ones old enough to act as his ambassadors have done so with grace, conveying a strong work ethic and awareness of their responsibilities in the world. I wonder how much of that is the influence of wives 1, 2 and 3, but dad had to wear off in some way, and I think his kids are Trump’s biggest trump card, so to speak.
I could also understand Trump’s appeal to a part of the electorate that is disenfranchised and angry. Heck, I’m angry too. I’m certainly not part of the 1 percent. I’m tired of being overtaxed and underfunded; I’m tired of waking up almost every morning to reports of a new shooting or incidence of violence with mass casualties; I’m outraged that Congress can skip out merrily for weeks of summer vacation while I continue to slug away at work. If I don’t do my job I will get fired. They don’t do their jobs and they’re paid to run home and play. Yes, there’s a lot that’s wrong.
But on one historic night this week we could—taking a line from Bridge Over Troubled Water sung by Paul Simon— ease our minds with words from our gracious First Lady who reminded all of us of what is at stake, that “this election and every election is about who will have the power to shape our children for the next four or eight years of their lives.”
I used to feel sorry for my friends who chose not to have children, feeling as if they were losing out on a fundamental life experience, but with the recent spate of violence and political deadlock, I felt that they were lucky because they would never have to worry about children or grandchildren being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. When you’re a parent, you are, in a sense, a prisoner of the fears of the dangers your children face—no matter how old they are and where in the world they may be. It’s just hard wiring in the mom and dad brain. It’s a terrible thing to say you despair for the future, but that’s exactly where I was before I listened to Mrs. Obama.
She’s absolutely correct in observing that the United States is still the greatest country in the world—warts and all— after all, no person or country is going to be perfect. We’ve lost our way on many fronts but we know that and we’re struggling to regain our footing. We can do so with unity and dignity, without resorting to name-calling and negativity. It is very telling that Trump—while disparaging almost everyone else who took the stage that night—left the First Lady alone. She rendered him literally speechless.
One of Mrs. Obama’s most poignant observations was about the way we have moved this country forward by all of us coming together on behalf of our children: our coaches, our Sunday school teachers, all those volunteers who know that it takes a village. It is that kind of heart that has enriched the lives of my own children in this community over the last almost-20 years. Whether I have a Miss America or a president in my bloodline, the point is that anything is and should be possible.
suburban mom,
