Ringing the doorbell at Trish Baker’s house in Plainsboro is an adventure; you are greeted immediately by a joyful cacophony of barking, the thump of happy tails, and the rush of galumphing paws determined to get to you first to say hello. There are five dogs in this welcoming committee: Lucky, a golden mix, walks on three legs because he was struck by a car and had a broken pelvic bone when the Bakers rescued him and brought him home; Luna, a pit bull mix; Boxster, a Boston terrier sheltie mix; and Miki, a Pomeranian, all rescue dogs. The latest addition to the family is Albie, an Icelandic sheepdog, who belongs to Katelyn Baker, a senior at High School North.
The Bakers’ son, Kenny, lost his long struggle with anxiety and depression at age 19 and completed suicide on the railroad tracks near the family’s home on May 19, 2009.
“Katelyn needed something in her life to help her after her brother died,” says Baker. “Katelyn had told me, ‘mom, I want a dog that looks at me the way all our dogs look at you.’ She raised the money on her own and promised to be completely responsible. And even though we didn’t need another dog, we knew that having a puppy of her own to feed, train, and love, would help her get through a very difficult time. Albie can’t fill the void of a sibling, but she makes Katelyn laugh.”
For Baker, as well, it has been her love for dogs that has sustained her in her darkest hours in the two years since Kenny’s death. “There are mornings when I’m lying in bed, and I just don’t want to get up. And then I get a lick from one of the dogs, and then there’s a body, something jumping on you that weighs 45 pounds, so then I say, ‘okay, I guess I better get out of bed and get going.’ They give me a reason for getting up.”
Full disclosure: I first met the Bakers when our daughter, Molly, was 10 years old. She and Katelyn were in Girl Scouts together, and Trish was one of the co-leaders of the troop. Over the years we got to know the whole family as well, including Kenny, who was the same age as our oldest, Katie.
Kenny had a fondness for many things, but high on his list was downing one-pound burgers at Cheeburger, Cheeburger on Route 1. Kenny made quite a name for himself eating record numbers, and I wrote a story about a personal burger-eating competition he had with a friend that for this paper (WW-P News, March 26, 2007). Since Kenny’s death, the Bakers have made it their life’s work to spread awareness of mental illness and to do advocacy work in suicide prevention, especially where it concerns young people and teenagers.
They founded A.I.R., Attitudes in Reverse. Katelyn came up with the concept with the idea that mental illness is just like air. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It is all around us. I have been helping the Bakers with their efforts to shape their message and tell their story so they can help others with mental illness. This May 19 marks the second anniversary of Kenny’s death.(At the end of this story, you will find all the events planned next month to commemorate his death and to celebrate his life.)
It’s not just a personal kinship with canines that fuels Trish’s everyday life; the former art director and graphic designer has turned her passion for dogs into a new career. In October, 2006, when Kenny was sick and she was fully immersed in figuring out the best ways to help him, she saw that PetSmart in South Brunswick was hiring. She wanted to work, partly to make some money, partly to spend time with the animals she loved, but also to help distract her from the stress of having a chronically ill child, so she applied.
“I went through their certification program, and I met the kindest, most supportive people,” says Baker. “I was able to do my work, but since each day with Kenny could be unpredictable, they said that if I needed to go be with him, just go.” After Kenny’s death, Baker went back to work at PetSmart after just one week, something some people didn’t understand. “My ‘pet parents’ were such a strong community of support. Work gave me a purpose, and the dogs and puppies allowed me to smile again even though my heart was breaking. I could still find joy in each day because how can you not find joy when you’re playing with puppies. I really feel like that job rescued me and pulled me out of a dark, difficult time.”
Baker is now a member of an illustrious circle of only 2,000 dog trainers worldwide, having just earned a certification through the Certification Council for Professional Dog trainers called CPDT-KA (the KA stands for Knowledge Assessed). She had to complete a minimum of 225 hours of hands-on dog training experience within a five-year period to take the qualifying test, which includes material on animal husbandry, learning theory, and equipment. Baker is also a member of APDT, Association of Pet Dog Trainers, which helps pet parents find local trainers and provides trainers with coursework so they can stay current on the science of dog training.
Baker volunteers once a week assisting in classes at St. Hubert’s Dog Training School in Madison, in Morris County, and takes workshops when time allows. She also has a dog walking service called 20 Paws in honor of the family’s five dogs. (Miki, the Pomeranian, just earned his Canine Good Citizen award from the AKC and has also been certified as a Therapy Dog.)
Baker says she loves holding training classes at PetSmart and her canine students seem to enjoy them as well. “They recognize my name and get all excited when the pet parent asks, ‘Do you want to go see Tricia?’ One of my best stories is about a dog named Nike. His mom was at the register buying treats for class. She accidentally dropped his leash. Instead of running out the door, he ran over to the training ring. He scratched at the door, and when I opened it, he came in sat down and was ready for class to start. His mom was still at the register.”
Baker says the shyest dog she has worked with was a rescued dog that was so afraid of people, he would not come out of the car to come into the store. “We worked at least 45 minutes at the car. After a few months, the dog now loves coming into PetSmart and loves all people.”
Her family always had a dog while Baker was growing up on Long Island, “although only one at a time at my mom’s insistence,” she says. Her dad worked for the post office at Kennedy Airport and her mom was a homemaker. Her older brother, Jim, is now an engineer at KeySpan in Long Island; younger sister Eileen is an auditor at BlackRock.
In 1982 Baker earned a BFA in graphic design from the New York Institute of Technology in Old Westbury. After working in Manhattan for years as an art director and graphic designer, Baker’s boss was hired by Merrill Lynch to revamp the art department at its Plainsboro campus and asked Baker to join her. She and her husband Kurt, a mortgage banker with his own company, Alternative Mortgage and Investment Corporation, moved to Plainsboro.
Baker became the graphics manager at Merrill Lynch in 1988 and worked her way up to production director and then vice president of budgeting services in the marketing department. But in 2002, with an ailing mother on Long Island and her family taking up more of her time, she quit her job to work for Kurt.
The couple had met at a dance in his freshman year as a cadet at the Merchant Marine Academy in Kings Point, New York. Their first dog together was Blarney, a beagle-terrier mix — of course, another rescue — and this was the dog that was there for the arrival of their babies, Kenny in 1990 and Katelyn in 1993.
Their next family dog, who Katelyn picked out at the North Shore Animal League in Long Island, was Summer. “We looked at this big yellow gawky dog, and we knew she’d been there a while. So we called Kurt and Kenny, and they said bring the dog home. Katelyn bragged, ‘Daddy we got the biggest puppy there!’ That really made Kurt happy.”
Baker says Kenny had a deep bond with all of their dogs. “Lucky still lies outside his room on the floor, as if he is waiting for him to come back. The morning Kenny died, Father Bob (Medley) from our church (Queenship of Mary) came to the house to say prayers. Each dog filed into the living room calmly and quietly and formed a circle around Father Bob. We all feel that they prayed with us that morning.”
After Kenny died, the place Baker found she missed him most was in the car. “He was my pilot on days he felt well enough to drive and my co-pilot on the days he didn’t feel well. We had so many wonderful conversations. After he died, there was such an emptiness in the car. The silence was deafening, even with the stereo playing. It was so lonely. I decided to bring my little Miki with me. He has been my constant companion ever since, going almost everywhere I go.”
In fact, Kenny named Boxster after one of his favorite cars. “I got Boxster to be Kenny’s dog, and it was interesting, as Boxster also suffered from anxiety, even though I did all of the right things when he was a puppy — lots of socialization, lots of training classes. It goes to show that genetics plays a huge part in brain chemistry and behavior, not only in ours, but in our dogs. Since Kenny’s death, Boxster’s anxiety has increased significantly. I have no other explanation other than Kenny’s death.”
The family’s dogs and her dog training work have helped Baker move on with her life and to continue to learn and grow. She says sharing her love of dogs with others helps fill her life with friendship and purpose. “I can be having a really hard day, but a few minutes with my dogs and I find myself smiling, and often laughing. The love of dogs that Katelyn and I share has brought us many joyful hours together, something a mom of a teenager treasures. With people who we love, there are judgments and there is history, both negative and positive, but with dogs and their love, there is no baggage. Dogs are good for our souls.”
National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day, Attitudes in Reverse, Rita’s Water Ice, 4180 Route 1 North, Monmouth Junction. Tuesday, May 3, 5 to 9 p.m. Members of A.I.R. scoop ice cream to raise awareness about mental health issues and suicide prevention. E-mail tricia@attitudesinreverse.org for information. www.attitudesinreverse.org.
Other upcoming A.I.R. events: A.I.R. Awareness Car Wash, Plainsboro Rescue Squad, 621 Plainsboro Road, Plainsboro. Saturday, May 14, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
A.I.R. Awareness Mass, Queenship of Mary Catholic Church, 16 Dey Road, Plainsboro. Thursday, May 19, 8 a.m.
National A.I.R. Awareness Day, Attitudes in Reverse, Cheeburger Cheeburger, 3349 Route 1 South, Mercer Mall, Lawrenceville. Thursday, May 19, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. 20 percent of proceeds will be donated to A.I.R.
A.I.R. Community Awareness Event and NAMI Walk, Rider University, Lawrenceville. Saturday, May 21, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Register to walk. Concert features Marshall Crenshaw, Amy Kuney, Michael Glazier, Rhymes with Orange, and Xenia Sky. Barbecue.
For more information on 20 Paws, E-mail tricia@20paws.com.
