I consider myself fairly in tune with the times and my children, especially when it comes to language, but a recent incident has proven me wrong.
We were in the parking lot at Barnes & Noble and it was packed with what I presume to be early holiday shoppers. Finally, a woman started pulling out in front of me, and though it was pretty far from the doors, I chortled, “it’s a bird in the hand, so I’m parking here; we can walk.”
You know that sensation when someone is looking at you, eyes boring into your back, but there is also that feeling when people are rolling their eyes at you behind your back, and that’s exactly what Molly and Will were doing. Finally, Molly ventured, “Mom, is it because you learned English as a second language and your parents made you read some weird books that you sometimes say such strange things?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked the children for whom I had spent a lifetime trying to inculcate my love and breadth of language. And now they were, to say it bluntly, making fun of the way I speak.
“What’s a bird in the hand?” Inquiring minds wanted to know. “The entire saying is that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,” I explained. “It means that even though this parking spot is farther away, it’s a sure thing, so I’m going to grab it, instead of driving in closer with the likelihood that there won’t be anything there and I’ll lose this spot in the process. It’s an idiom that means it’s often better to take the sure thing than gamble on the chance that you’ll find more somewhere else.”
I was so astonished at their lack of understanding that I decided to take an informal poll among friends. I also wanted to affirm my suspicion that my children’s perception was generational rather than cultural. The age spread ranged from two in their 60s, two in their 50s, two in their 40s, one in her 30s, and two in their 20s. News flash! The three youngest in the group did not understand the idiom!
Meanwhile, our friend Rose took our understanding to another level, explaining that the phrase originated in the days when people commonly hunted for food, and trading a guaranteed catch on the possibility of flushing out birds in the bush meant that the family could go hungry.
“Six of one, half a dozen of another; don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched; that’s a horse of a different color; add insult to injury; cost an arm and a leg; don’t cross that bridge until you come to it”; these are some of my favorite sayings, I have been using them liberally my entire life, especially with the kids. But now, those same kids have revealed that all along, they have been thinking it’s just their born-in-another-country mom talking funny.
I suppose the modern parallel is the whole new language of social media and the Internet that sometimes makes us parents scratch our heads. Of course, we’ve gotten acronyms such as LOL, LMAO, GTG, JK, WTF down pat, and perhaps have even incorporated them into our own communications. But the reality is that language is evolving constantly to keep up with new inventions, social trends, and geopolitical realities, and you’ve really got to be on your toes to keep up.
For example, just this week, the venerated folks at the Oxford English Dictionary revealed that their word of the year for 2014 is “vape.” If, like yours truly, you have no idea what that is, consider that it is both a noun and a verb. As an action, Oxford defines vape as, “to inhale and exhale the vapor produced by an electronic cigarette or similar device.” Vape can be used as a noun for the e-cigarette and for the act of inhaling itself.
A 2014 runner-up is “budtender,” someone who serves customers in a cannabis dispensary or shop, an obvious play on “bartender.”
I personally love another runner-up, “bae,” a term of endearment for one’s romantic partner, a shortening of “babe” or “baby.” One less letter is significant in the texting era, it seems. But the reason I like bae is because it is also said to be an acronym for “Before Anyone Else,” which I find incredibly sweet.
My favorite, however, is another runner-up which I have never heard anyone use in daily language, but which I will try to use every day multiple times moving forward to increase its popularity. That’s because someone has finally defined my personal fashion style, which is to please myself and no one else.
“Normcore” refers to a trend in which ordinary, unfashionable clothing is worn as a deliberate fashion statement. So the next time we go shopping, this is what I’m going to say to my kids: “hey my pretty baes, this parking spot is a bird in the hand, so let’s grab it. When we go in, let’s check out some normcore, and not be tempted by clothes that cost an arm and a leg and add insult to injury to our financial situation.”
And when my children look at each other blankly, thinking, “OMG, WTF is up with mom,” I will laugh and say, “ROFL, JK, LOL, since dad is out working so hard to bring home the bacon, let’s go break the bank.”
