When Travis Manion and his best friend went to a pizza place in their hometown in Pennsylvania, the pizza man refused to look up when that friend asked for a slice and a soda. It happened three times, and then Travis went up to the pizza man and told him they would never be coming back to that shop again. At that time, Travis and his friend were 11 years old.
That friend, who is African-American, told that story to Travis’s family only many years later. It was during one of the memorial services for Travis, who grew up to be a standout athlete and student, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis, and a U.S. Marine, and a first lieutenant who was on his second tour of duty in Iraq when he was killed by enemy sniper fire four years ago at the age of 26.
“My brother lived his life by a simple motto,” says his older sister, Ryan Manion Borek, who has dedicated her life to sharing the values that her brother lived by and for which he made the ultimate sacrifice. “He always asked himself, ‘If not me, then who?’ Who would fight in Iraq if he, such a well-trained soldier, didn’t go? Whether it was standing up for his friend against racism at the age of 11 or fighting for his country, Travis was always about doing the right thing.”
She and her family, through the Travis Manion Foundation, have made it their mission to educate schoolchildren about doing the right thing through their Character Does Matter program for every grade level. This week she spoke to sixth, seventh and eighth graders at Community Middle School, who have been engaged in a school-wide celebration of character all year long. Among those seventh-graders is Will Brossman, my son, who has made frequent appearances in this column over the years.
The new campaign issues this challenge to all students: “To look for the moments in their lives where they can do good — to recognize both big and small decisions as opportunities to stand up for others, defend what’s right, and help those around; and to encourage each and every person to ask themselves, ‘If not me, then who?’”
“So much of the way we teach kids in the area of behavior is about what not to do — don’t act up in class, don’t bully others, don’t cheat, lie, or steal,” says Ellen Burgess, a guidance counselor at Community Middle School and a mother of three. “We wanted to turn that into positive energy and show kids what they should do, and how they can take charge by focusing on character.”
The message seemed to resonate with students, among them, Nick Day, a 7th –– grader and Will’s friend, who told me, “I know that sometimes I’ve sat back and let somebody else pick up the slack and do something because I’ve either been lazy or didn’t care enough. But after listening to the presentation, next time I’ll be the one to step up and do the right thing because I would ask myself, ‘if not me, then who.’ I really get what that’s all about.”
The program was introduced by Wanda Rinker Skordinski, a sixth grade science teacher from Bucks County. She and her husband, Andrew, volunteer with the Travis Manion Foundation, and were inspired to share the powerful life lessons that it promotes. “I found myself asking what am I doing as a teacher to help promote good character,” she said. “I knew I wanted to teach more than science, because educating a child these days is about so much more than what can be taught in a classroom.”
Indeed, in these complex and often confusing times, education has gone way beyond just reading, writing, and arithmetic, and stretched the boundaries of science and technology. Today’s education has to be focused on shaping the whole child, and that includes lessons on morality and character.
Sharing lessons about community and doing the right thing have always been a priority in the WW-P school district, but the issue has drawn extra sharp focus in the wake of Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi’s suicide and the alleged role of two students from West Windsor Plainsboro High School North. As one teacher put it, “When I heard the news, I was horrified because all I could think was my goodness, those kids came up through our schools.”
CMS has many more school-wide efforts planned around the theme of promoting good character, including guidance lessons and regular public service segments on “Wake Up Community,” the morning news show delivered by students. Each student will receive a bracelet with the “If not me, then who” message so it is always at top of mind.
As part of the Travis Manion Foundation’s Character Does Matter program, each school is assigned a fallen service member to adopt. The students at CMS have been assigned to 1st Lieutenant Ashley Henderson Huff, a soldier from Belle Mead who was only 23 when she was killed by a suicide bomber in Iraq. She was the first woman from New Jersey to die in the war.
The school’s goal is to encourage students to live by the values she and Travis Manion exemplified, and there is a recognition program to provide the motivation. Students can earn a Panther Paw and be recognized with their names posted outside the cafeteria.
You want your kids to do the right thing, but first they have to know what the right thing is and they have to want to do it. That is what the new campaign at CMS is about. As Travis’ sister puts it, “Beyond the character you possess, there’s a character you have to develop. It’s a deliberate choice.”
