When it comes to the dangers of drug use, today’s children are growing up into a world that is very different than the one their parents grew up in. “I think that our kids are facing a much more complicated and dangerous world,” says Steve Mayer, principal at Grover Middle School. “They are forced to do a lot of growing very quickly.”
Mayer will discuss ways parents can combat drug use at a panel at Princeton Alliance Church, Scudders Mill and Shalks Crossing roads, Tuesday, February 8, at 7 p.m. Also on the panel will be Reverend Nathan Karcesky; Ron Fraser, a certified counselor; and several Plainsboro police officers.
Mayer says that it is a mistake for parents to write off changes in their children’s behavior, social life, and academic performance as natural adolescent angst. Many parents are unwilling to get involved where they may not be wanted, but Mayer says that any changes are flags that should be investigated. “Just because your kid gets a new set of friends doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is getting involved in drugs,” he says. “It could mean they are getting away from friends who have become involved with drugs. But a parent should check that out anyway.”
Mayer, who became principal at Grover when the school opened in 1999, says that family communication is the key ingredient in keeping drugs out of your children’s lives. “I read a study back in 1999 that demonstrated that families who ate dinner together at least five nights a week were significantly less likely to have drugs in their lives,” he says. “The point is that you have to spend regular time with your kids so you can be aware of changes.”
The prevalence of computers and the amount of time children are spending online has added to the complications for both parents and children. This includes talking in chatrooms as well as allowing children access to websites that may be harmful to them. Mayer suggests that computers become a public piece of equipment in the household. “The Internet is public,” he says. “Anyone with a computer has access to your children’s E-mail. Parents should make it clear that they have a right to access that information as well.” On the other hand, Mayer cautions, children do deserve privacy. “If a kid wants a private journal that should remain private and a parent shouldn’t touch it.”
A resident of Robbinsville, Mayer has three sons, his oldest in the sixth grade. “Statistically speaking, we know that middle school, particularly the eighth grade, is an age when many kids begin to experiment with drugs,” he says. “Children are faced with important life decisions. We work hard to make sure our parents and teachers are proactive and to equip them with useful information.”
As a child Mayer lived in South America where his father did missionary work. He spent most of his childhood growing in Scotch Plains where his father worked for Prudential Insurance and his mother was a nurse.
He earned his bachelors degree from Messiah College in Pennsylvania and his masters from Rutgers. “Education is something that I always had an aptitude for,” says Mayer. After graduating he taught middle school before going into school administration.
Mayer says that while his participation in the anti-drug panel at Princeton Alliance Church is not a school function, it is something that everyone is invited to. “It will be a great program and an awesome conversation,” he says.
— Jack Florek
Panel on ‘Parents: The Anti-Drug,’ Princeton Alliance Church, Scudders Mill and Shalks Crossing roads, Tuesday, February 8, 7 p.m. Free. 609-799-9000.
