I warned you there might be a sequel to my most recent column, and here it is.
“Everything is working as I wished,” declared my dad when I called to check on his new computer and printer setup. His words were music to my ears. Finally.
As you may recall, my dad had decided that he would keep his new PC and go to the computer store to figure out how to get it working. Long story short: they could not connect his laptop to his printer, so in frustration, he returned everything and wanted me to help him start from scratch.
The first step was to research laptops similar to his previous one, find it, and order it. This, after we had taken his new MAC desktop off his hands after he decided that converting from PC to MAC was not something he wanted to do. (Yes, this saga has been going on for several months now, ever since his computer crashed in the middle of his taxes).
Then Bill rode in to the rescue, offering up his Dell desktop, just a year-and-a-half old, on which he had installed his bike training program. But the new MAC would do just fine, and since my Dad had a comfort level with Dell, we agreed to make the switch.
But first, we installed the Microsoft office suite. Then we installed the Norton antivirus program. Then I went into my dad’s E-mail, created a spam filter and then, additionally, blocked junk mail addresses. I installed shortcuts to AOL, Schwab, weather, and CNN, his favorite websites. I purchased a new printer and installed the disk to make it speak to the Dell. Then and only then, Will helped me deliver the devices and I set everything up.
I said a prayer, held my breath, did a test print, and exhaled only after the printer spit out the beautiful, crisp document.
“Well, you finally managed to do something right,” my dad said to me. I think he meant it as praise, but upon seeing what must have been my stricken look, Will whispered, “he’s only talking about this computer project, mom, not your whole life.”
If my day job doesn’t work out, I can now go into business setting up new computers and printers for seniors. I learned a lot in this go around, having had to push past my own limited comfort level with technology. I experienced a feeling similar to the one after I had successfully planned and thrown my own wedding.
Well, what do I do with all this newfound expertise? Hopefully I can tap into it when I eventually help Katie and Molly plan their nuptials. Things have changed radically, however, since 1989, but nonetheless, I hope to put most of those acquired skills to good use, just as some day I can do something with my new computer setup prowess.
It’s not just computers and set ups, but the very way we interact with other human beings that has been turned on its head with the technology revolution. For example, this morning I broke one of my own cardinal rules by calling someone at 7:30 a.m. I won’t let any of my kids call someone before 9 a.m. or after 9 p.m., but this rule goes completely by the wayside given time zone differences, the 24/7 way of today’s world, and then wacky schedules.
For example, Molly has taken a summer job where she works from 4 p.m. to midnight. The old rules simply cannot apply here. Call her at 1 in the morning? Absolutely! That’s probably the best time to reach her these days.
Actually, it turns out that phone calls are considered the least preferred method of communication in some circles, having been supplanted by E-mails or texts, which are less disruptive. A phone call can interrupt, whereas an E-mail or text can be read and answered on any timetable.
But then where does that leave you in terms of thank you notes? Hand-written notes are the best, but wouldn’t an E-mail or text do just as well and also be more expeditious? If you’re applying for a job, what’s the best way to reach out to a recruiter or potential boss? A phone call works fastest, but you might be considered not only forward but rude, especially if you interrupt a meeting. However, shouldn’t that be considered bold, fearlessly taking the initiative?
The rules have all changed in less than a generation, and one person’s rude is another person’s taking the charge. It’s difficult for even Emily Post, the traditional arbiter of manners, to rule anything definitive, since technology and behavior is all such a fast-moving target.
I’ll tell you one thing that will never change, however, no matter how quickly into the future we fly: face-to-face kindness, humility, and genuine appreciation are classics that will never go out of style.
