Sergio Neri did not expect to interrupt an established life in Italy in his suburban home outside of Milan and sell his business to travel the world, later beginning a new life in New Jersey.
However, when his young son Davide was diagnosed with autism in 1993, Neri discovered that Italy was severely lacking in supportive resources they needed.
He was eventually connected to the Princeton Child Development Institute in New Jersey after traveling to seek out necessary care.
“I came here for Davide,” Neri says, who opened Hopewell Valley Vineyards after he arrived in 1994. “I probably would not have been here because my life was established in Italy.”
What began as a journey to the States to seek the best support for Davide, who is nonverbal and engages in self abusive behaviors, has blossomed into a quest to improve the lives of adults living with autism and developmental disabilities for Neri and his wife Violetta.
The question of Davide’s future led Neri and Violetta to begin PALS, a state funded organization approved by the NJ Division of Developmental Disabilities.
Pennington Adult Living Services provides support for adults with a wide range of developmental disabilities.
Now, the Neris have recently opened a new store, PALS on Main, involving adults in PALS, which has replaced CHANCE on Main in Pennington.
Adults in their program are referred to as “participants” as they help create the hand-crafted goods such as bags, pillows, quilts, and more that can be seen on display in the store.
“The keyword is participant. Others use consumer or client but that is the goal, that they are going to participate,” says Neri. “Maybe not 100% of a task, but participate to their level and interest.”
The store is an opportunity to get them involved in their community as they greet and assist customers and witness their products available on display for purchase.
“The store is just a bud now, it’s gonna grow,” says Svein Hansen, executive director of PALS.
The Neris are committed in growing PALs and their services that currently provides individual support, transportation services, behavioral support, community based support, and more.
“The more I look around at society and our nation, there is so much need for services of this kind and so little available. It is scary as an individual parent and member of a community,” Violetta says. “ We want to serve and help the participants and the people they live with.”
The root of Neri’s motivation for their expansion of PALs and its services is their experiences living with Davide, who is now 27 years old, and described as an extremely handsome adult.
“It started from a good place, the heart,” says Violetta. “When you live with a child who has severe autism, you start thinking outside of the box, any box.”
Neri arrived to America with Davide after he was accepted into PCDI and established Hopewell Valley Vineyards, acquiring 72 acres of land.
“While experiencing Davide growing up, we talked about not only his future but the future of his peers in school and what they can look forward to when they age out of the school district at 21,” says Hansen who is also a longtime friend of the Neri’s and has worked with Davide since 1999. “Sergio and Violetta said ‘why don’t we create something?’”
The origin of PALS emerged from the Neri’s support group they began several years ago called the A-Team, which provided support for adults with autism.
The A-Team formed when a young man with autism began working in the Neri’s factory at Hopewell Valley Vineyards preparing the boxes for the wine bottles.
“This young man did well and melted everybody’s heart,” says Hansen who helped supervise him in the factory. “We brought on his friend and had two of them working together. It grew from there gradually and we thought what are some other things we can do?”
Participants began creating goods in the workshop that was sold at CHANCE on Main.
The A-Team grew and evolved into PALS, which not only encompasses providing services for individuals with autism but also adults with a wide range of developmental disabilities when they are at least 21 years old.
When an individual turns 21, the support switches from the local school system to the state through the DDD.
“The parents need a break. When the curtain drops you are backstage in your home with your person who has severe disability, life’s different,” Violetta says. “When you have a chance to put them in proper care, you sit down and you breathe.
The Neris understand what it is like to constantly be on alert after years of unpredictable experiences with Davide, calling him their best trainer.
“Davide could be an Abercrombie and Fitch model, although sometimes he hits himself, making his nose appear weird,” says Violetta, referring to Davides’ self-abusive tendencies that are out of his control. Tendencies like those can be a reality for many individuals with severe autism.
The Neris describe a time Davide was visiting his biological mother’s home in Ewing, where he escaped in the middle of the night, resulting in his arrest.
Sergio calls Davide a master escape artist, and someone who is ingenious and unrelenting at finding snacks when hungry.
This led Davide to take the keys to break out of his mother’s home in Ewing, who he visits every other Sunday.
During the middle of a snowstorm, he walked out of her door barefoot and in pajamas, all the way to Quik Chek near Olden Avenue.
Inside, Davide was on a mission headed towards the aisle with assorted bags of chips. He opened a bag and began eating in the middle of the store, simply because he was hungry.
Since he is nonverbal and unable to explain himself, a worker at the store called the police on Davide. Police handcuffed him and brought him to a hospital, presuming him to be a college student under the influence at the nearby university.
It was not until a nurse at the hospital noticed behavioral signs that he was autistic.
These incidents are always a possibility for the Neri family, says Violetta who believes that there needs to be more awareness along with support for adults with autism.
“The abilities and disabilities of each person are completely unique. Some are nonverbal and self abusive,” Violetta says. “Because of the experience we have, we can handle the more severe cases. We have the whole distribution in our program.”
PALs aims to provide all individuals in their program with life opportunities.
“It’s so important to educate people to not be afraid just because they think differently or look a little different,” Neri says. “It’s important for them to be in a community.”
The store is split with the front showcasing the assorted products available to purchase and the back is the workshop where participants can be seen creating different hand crafted goods.
“When customers open the store, the first thing they see is the participant learning different skills,” says Neri.
Participants make various woodwork products, quilts, decorative fringe banners, repurposed bags out of shirts, and more.
“They really are our teachers,” says Janneke Vanderree, a co-manager of PALS on Main. “It doesn’t matter if what they’re doing is not done, as long as they are doing it and they see progress and are happy with what they do.”
Vanderree, who worked for the previous store, was approached by PALs to be a coach and mentor for participants because of her background in teaching, quilting, and fabric art.
She helps teach the adults in the program how to sew and make quilts along with different social skills such as approaching the customer and introducing themselves.
“It gives some of these participants a reason to get out of the house,” says Deborah Allen, another co-manager of the store and mentor to participants whose background is in therapeutic art. “I believe that when you create, there’s a lot of dignity.”
PALS operates on a fee for service basis. All their funding comes through the state or their own outside fundraising efforts.
The Neris own a flour shop where participants are taught to make food such as Italian taralli or pizza dough. They also help plant poplar trees at the Neri’s winery. The food and the trees are then sold as a part of the fundraising that goes directly to the PALS program.
The Neris continue to look for appropriate funding from the state so they can grow their program.
“Our hope is that it is going to be self sustaining,” says Hansen. “We’re in the process of looking at government grants, corporate grants, sending out letters and explaining our cause. We have a referral for North Jersey and South Jersey which we’re not capable of currently doing.”
Right now, PALS is focusing on local service, however the need for services like there’s has been demonstrated through their referrals.
“We’re local to Mercer County but maybe one day we can branch out,” Hansen says.
A future goal for the Neris is to continue PALS’ expansion and eventually establish group homes in the distant future.
In the shop, the number one rule written on the chalkboard in the store’s workshop for the participants is to have fun.
“We want them to want to come back. How do you create that feeling in a young person with deficits?” says Hansen. “By creating an atmosphere that’s welcome. Where they feel safe and supported and accepted and understood.”
,
