As I wrote in my January 2024 column, my annual New Year’s intention is to bring more happiness into the world both for myself and others. While in the past, I’ve touted professional research studies for maximizing happiness, this year I’m getting personal.
Last month, Princeton Area Community Foundation announced they were donating $1 million to the Outdoor Equity Alliance. As OEA’s cofounder, this brought me immense joy, as the grant ensures an enduring future for a nonprofit whose mission is to ensure Nature For All.
Despite the OEA’s recent fundraising success, the early days were fraught with challenges.
In 2019, the first alliance of committed individuals gathered to discuss the purpose and confirm there was a need. Yet a recognized need doesn’t always ensure that funders share our vision.
As FoHVOS executive director, I developed OEA’s flagship internship and both Boys and Girls Club of Mercer County and Hopewell Valley Regional School District signed on, joining the program for January 2020. Despite their backing, we could not attract corporate or nonprofit grants.
So instead, in December 2019 we launched a GoFundMe to raise $10,000 to implement the series.
In 2020, a generous benefactor agreed to fund half of OEA’s first staff member, if I personally matched their donation. FoHVOS became the OEA fiscal sponsor and from then on, I contributed thousands to ensure that the OEA sponsored project was always a net financial positive for FoHVOS.
The same benefactor funded OEA’s first strategic plan. Once developed, Princeton Area Community Foundation’s Bunbury Fund provided $50,000 in seed money to implement the plan. Jamie Kyte Sapoch, lead adviser to the Bunbury Fund, said that strong leadership to drive the mission was a major grant consideration.
Implementation included establishing a board and bylaws and hiring an executive director, William Wilson, whose guidance would propel OEA’s future.
Flash ahead to when I sent thanks to Jamie for OEA’s $1 million grant. She replied: “Will be watching in the wings as OEA grows into its full potential under William’s leadership…”
And as we ring in this New Year, I can joyfully say, so will I.
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Of the many enthusiastic and talented supporters who joined the OEA board, one unsung hero was the first treasurer, Damon Missouri. Damon had a strong financial background and even stronger moral compass. He was the first to apply for a PACF grant after OEA’s formation, ensuring that PACF management was well aware of the OEA mission.
Damon continued as OEA treasurer until his military deployment to the Middle East as a senior chaplain. At that time, I took over as a temporary treasurer until his return.
Damon was overseas for 11 months. When he returned in December, I indicated that my Hopewell Express readers might benefit from insights into his considerable life experience that provide an interesting contrast to my own.
I asked what advice he would give to those seeking a happier life. Here is his answer.
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My name is Damon Missouri, I am a husband of 24 years and counting, a father of seven, private wealth advisor, Army chaplain, board member, son, friend, devout Christian and a five-year resident of Hopewell Township, just to name a few. Andy Stanley, some years, ago wrote a book called Choosing to Cheat, which pretty much sums up my life, when it comes to balancing my various roles, time, my identity and the looming thought of who and what I am cheating, to include myself.
This is less about the book, and more about my personal journey and a recent life event that demanded me to answer the profound questions of what keeps me fulfilled and what I would share with others who seek to lead a happier life. I recently returned from a nearly 11-month combat deployment, where I spent most of my time in Iraq and Syria, with travels to both Jordan and Kuwait as part of a Combined Joint Task Force, or CJTF, in support of Operation Inherent Resolve, or OIR.
Upon entering theater, I led as the CJTF-OIR command chaplain, where I coordinated coverage plans, provided guidance and overall supervision to as many as 17 U.S. Army subordinate religious support teams and 5 coalition chaplains in four countries. Despite being understaffed, I excelled at my job, which led to great success and accolades.
One of the most disappointing and best things that could have happened to me at point in the deployment, was when one of the generals I worked for decided to restructure organizationally mid-rotation, which moved me to an undescriptive senior task force chaplain role. But this allowed me the opportunity to take a step back, reassess my priorities in theater and focus on my relationship with my wife and children and where I could make the most impact while being over 5000 miles away and 8-hour times difference.
I will tell you, I was not happy, initially! I was angry about the way the change was made, even though I was commended for how well I performed and the outstanding work I accomplished.
However, with change comes opportunities. What I learned was that everything around me can change and upend in a moment, especially after many of my fellow service members and I came under multiple drone and rocket attacks by Iranian aligned militia groups. What would not be upended was my faith.
It was my faith in God that allowed me to remember why I was in the desert. When fear of loss of life, family or control crept in, my faith was the anchor that allowed room for true fulfillment and hope. It was my faith that reminded me that I was there to serve no matter what role I was in and that I can make it through all difficulties or challenges.
As a command chaplain, I was missing something important. Proximity. I learned that being close to the brokenhearted, being with people as they suffered trauma, navigated fears, lost relationships and loved ones, they often were spiritually bankrupt and needed words of hope and life through the gospel and love, were the most important things I could offer.
It was something I needed too. Leadership can be lonely at times. My own kryptonite became apparent when it came to my family back home. Capacity, albeit limited, was created for me to be more emotionally present, where I had “cheated” my family. I am grateful that God provided this shift in my priorities and focus.
Opportunities were also created to actively support the military religious community in Erbil, Iraq, fill gaps, support senior leaders, take care of special force community members, mentor and advise other senior chaplains, and go where the trouble was whether is was in Syria or other parts of Iraq, to support my fellow chaplains and leaders when things got scary.
Jesus said: “What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” Jesus said this in the context of staying focused on your purpose, not seeing things simply from a purely humanistic perspective, but from a higher level. True joy, fulfillment and happiness is not in the title, roles, wealth we may or may not have or social status, and rank. Fulfillment and happiness come by serving motivated by love.
If we operated in a posture that is transactional, selfish, harboring unforgiveness because of actual or perceived wrongs, seeking things that are temporary which has no eternal impact, we sell ourselves and others short. We will miss joy, and our purpose. We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can focus on how we will respond.
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