So perhaps you hoped, but not well enough. The convicted criminal got elected, and the perpetrators of the attempted putsch have been pardoned. Your pre-election anxiety has been replaced by post-election depression to such a degree that some of your friends have required anti-anxiety prescriptions.
So what are you going to do?
The first obvious choice is to drink heavily. However, with recent warnings that alcohol might have some unpleasant side effects, like cancer and cardiomyopathy, that might not be a good choice.
You could try to distract yourself with crossword puzzles or, even better, 2,000-piece jigsaw puzzles with fragments so small they require tweezers to pick them up.
You could read a good book. Now’s a good time for escapist literature. Fantasy and science fiction make the most sense with reality being so totally unbearable.
Can’t concentrate enough to read? Try escapist movies. The good guys always win in Marvel comics based films where the invulnerable Avengers and X-Men triumph over even the most vicious, unstoppable villains.
And when, on occasion, the superheroes are killed, they come back. Never give up hope.
You could turn off the screen and go for a walk on the beach. Even on the bleakest days of winter when you’re the only one foolish enough to shiver on the shore, there’s always the company of gorgeous diving ducks ducking under after fish in the surf.
Few sights are so uplifting as the striking black and white contrast of a hooded merganser riding the waves. Quite uplifting as long as you don’t connect that stark contrast to the polarization of current politics.
Speaking of politics, oh yeah, that’s what we’ve been doing, did you stop watching MSNBC for having provided the false hope that things would turn out differently from what actually happened? Is it time to go back and cultivate hope once again? Hope against all hope?
You could turn on Fox and rail at the TV. Talk about a waste of time.
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How about seeking the peace and solitude of SCUBA diving or the fine focus of collecting beer cans or start making dozens of doctors appointments.
What about taking up a musical instrument, like the drums? Of course, that just might alienate your closest friends and family members.
Haven’t you always aspired to be an opera singer? If you choose this option, please consider moving at least ten miles away from me before you sign up for lessons and begin practicing.
Open-minded and even tempered as I am, my tolerance goes just so far.
Have you thought of taking up whistling? Have those closest to you thought of taking up violence?
Eating has been known to provide solace. Consuming enormous amounts of French fries and chocolate ice cream is both satisfying and surprisingly unhealthy.
Like eating, shopping provides comfort to so many. You could go on a spree at Target or go online and order everything you always wanted but have been putting off: electric socks, a new teddy bear, a custom-made bowling ball. You can always return everything if you regret your selections.
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Travel is so broadening. You could take yourself to someplace where conditions are so awful (North Korea, Sudan, Switzerland) that most anywhere else will look better, even your kitchen with the news playing on the radio.
Have you looked at your old stamp collection that you set aside in early adolescence? So what if it’s not worth anything. So what if no one uses stamps anymore.
Is it time to be creative and work with your hands? You could begin some satisfying assembly line construction of birdhouses. So many birds are homeless these days. You could be the one to make the difference.
Do you have a pet? If not, how about a dog, a snake or a rat. You could name the rat after your least favorite political figure.
To really fit into today’s national scene, why not become a millionaire. All you have to do is take all your available cash, liquidate everything you own, take that stash to Atlantic City, and put it all on red. You have an absolute 50-50 chance of doubling your money.
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But if that last ploy doesn’t work out, you could join an ascetic cult where speaking is prohibited and diet is restricted to warm water and brussels sprouts. Your only concern will be to keep from passing out.
Moping is an option and an art. However, it does tend to put off even your closest friends.
You could consider sleeping, sleeping a lot. Perhaps, you’ll wake up and discover it’s all been a bad dream. Or you might try hibernating—for four years. However, you might wake up really cranky. Some of us are already really cranky.
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