Practicing their dance for the Gentlemen’s Ball are Herbert Ellis and mom Valerie Walker at the Hollowbrook Community Center on May 13, 2015. (Photo by Suzette J. Lucas.)
Brandon Bartlett and mom Kimberly Owens practice their dance for the Gentlemen’s Ball at the Hollowbrook Community Center on May 13, 2015. (Photo by Suzette J. Lucas.)
By Aliza Alperin-Sheriff
Kevin Baxter was a senior in Ewing High School in 1985, when he learned about the Gentlemen’s Ball, an annual event that celebrates the accomplishments of young black men in the community.
His mother had heard about the ball and urged him to apply, but Baxter, now a member of the Ewing Council, was reluctant to be involved at first. “My first instinct was, ‘Why do I have to do that?’ I was a senior in school, worried about prom and finals and here was something else to be part of,” he said.
However, his mother kept pushing him to get involved, saying that he would come to appreciate the opportunity.
“As mothers are, she was right,” said Baxter. His participation ended up being a powerful experience.
“My parents raised me to be a good person. Being a Gentleman reinforced the values I already had. It put a stamp on that what I was doing is the correct way,” he said.
Today Baxter is serving as the chair of this year’s Gentleman’s Ball, which will give him the opportunity to share the experience he had with 19 high school senior from Ewing, Hamilton, Lawrence and Trenton.
Ewing residents following in Baxter’s footsteps in this year’s event are Brandon Bagwell, Brandon Bartlett, Quentin Couch, Herbert Ellis, Trey Lowe, Kyle Collins, and Amos Quoi.
The criteria for being a Gentleman include having a GPA of at least 2.6, involvement in the community and not having children or a criminal record. The ball is fashioned after a debutante ball. It involves an introduction of the Gentlemen, a dinner and several dances including a waltz. It is a formal affair with the men dressed in tuxedos and the women dressed in ball gowns.
The tuxedos, in addition to the meals and pictures, are provided for free to the Gentlemen by the Urban League Guild, but in return the guild requests that they sell $300 worth of ads for an ad booklet. In order to prepare for the dancing, the participants attend 10 weeks of practice sessions.
The Trenton chapter of the Urban League Guild has been holding the Gentleman’s Ball since 1982. “The purpose is to recognize young men who have excelled academically and athletically,” said Jonnie Mae Page, the president of the chapter.
Baxter has been actively involved with the guild and the Gentlemen’s Ball for the past several years.
“I thought it was my opportunity to give back,” he said. “For young men, it is important to see other men. A lot come from single parent homes. It’s important for them to have positive male role models to identify with.”
As chair, he is in charge of every aspect of the all from selecting a venue to scheduling practices, rap sessions and outings such as a service at Kingdom Church in Ewing and a Trenton Thunder game. While he has help from various committees, he answers all the questions and has the final say.
Baxter has also been involved in outreach to raise awareness about the event. In addition to contacting schools and community to identify participants for this year’s ball, he also reached out to high school underclassmen.
“I want them to think that this is something they want to be part of. Some have a 2.4 or 2.5 GPA, so I they know they need to work a little harder so when they’re seniors they’ll be ready,” he said.
Being a Gentleman consists of more than just preparing for and attending a formal dinner dance. The young men who participate gain a close community and a network of connections to the more than 700 alumni of the program who can offer advice and guidance.
One important piece of this are the two or three rap sessions that the Gentlemen participate in.
“Our motto is what happens in the rap sessions stays in the rap sessions,” said Baxter. “It’s young men talking to older men. We give them real life talk. We don’t censor it. Many of them have never really had a man to talk to about being a man—especially an African American man.”
The rap sessions give the mentors an opportunity to get to know the Gentlemen and their career goals. It is also an opportunity for networking.
“My peer group, the classes of ‘83, ‘84, ‘85 ’86, we’re out in the world, we’ve established ourselves career-wise,” said Baxter. “We try and make sure that former Gentlemen can be used as resources.”
The program also allows young men who live in different towns in the area to get to know one another.
“I stress upon these guys that they’re going to be brothers. There are no cliques,” said Baxter.
At first many of the Gentlemen didn’t know each other, or only knew each other through sports rivalries, but throughout the practice sessions, they have bonded.
“Now they are one big family,” he said.
Brandon Blackshear-Bell is a student at Lawrence High School. He plays football and basketball and runs track. This year in football he got First Team All Conference in the Patriot Division, Second Team All Area in Mercer County and was the defensive MVP for Lawrence High School
He qualified for the statewide competitions in DECA, an organization that runs business-based competitions for high school students. He is also involved at his church where he is a junior counselor for the children’s church and helped at the Thanksgiving food drive.
For the next two years, Blackshear-Bell will attend Valley Forge Military College in Wayne, Pennsylvania, where he will play football. After he earns his associates degree, he wants to transfer to a four year university to study broadcast journalism and liberal arts. He hopes to be a sports broadcaster.
“I was very excited when I got the call that I got in,” he said about his participation in the Gentleman’s Ball. “It’s very prestigious and it was something that I’ve looked forward to doing since my sophomore year.”
“I’m really emotional,” said his mother, Nannette Blackshear, who does dossier publishing for Bristol-Myers Squibb. “Brandon knows what he wants to do with his life. He’s not a follower. I think he’s going to do great things. This is a stepping stone. He is seeing men he can actually relate to and saying ‘If they can do it, I can do it also.’”
Kyle Collins is a student at Ewing High School. He is an accomplished boxer and trains at Goss and Goss Boxing Club in Trenton. He also completed the STEM program for high school students at Rider University.
Next year he will be attending Temple University to study to be a physical therapist. He also wants to keep up his boxing by training at the Joe Hand Boxing Gym in Philadelphia.
His mother, Geneva Montgomery, a paralegal at Flynn and Associates in Cherry Hill, said that boxing has been a really good experience for her son.
“It’s really shown him discipline, a way to think things out,” she said. “It’s helped him slow down and think things through.”
“I’m actually enthusiastic about being part of something like this,” said Collins of the Gentlemen’s Ball. “It sheds a light on all our hard work. I feel I’m being noticed.”
Montgomery didn’t even know about the program until Collins told her that he had been accepted.
“It’s a good program for young black males of today,” she said. “You always hear about the negatives, doing something like this puts a positive spin on it.”
Trey Lowe is also a student at Ewing High School. He has been on the honor roll throughout high school and has been involved in community service activities including an autism walk, food and clothing drives, shoe drives and visiting the elderly.
He is also one of the area’s best basketball players. He has scored 2,000 points throughout his high school career. He is the all time leading scorer for not only Ewing High school, but all of Mercer County. He has held the record as the number one scorer for the whole state since sophomore year.
He will be going to Temple University on a full athletic scholarship. He will be studying communications in hopes of being a sports broadcaster. He also hopes to make it to be NBA.
His mother, Lynn, works for the SAT department at Educational Testing Service and his father works as a publications editor for Novartis Pharmaceuticals.
Lowe said that the Gentlemen’s Ball “is a great accomplishment that shows I can do something other than play basketball. It shows a different side of me.”
Lynn said, “I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life. This is exciting for me. I’ve thought about it since he was a little kid, that he was going to be a part of the Gentleman’s Ball. I’m happy to say it’s finally here.”
Brandon Bagwell also lives in Ewing and is a senior at Notre Dame High School. He is very involved with his church where he plays drums and is the youth director. He is also the president of the Deacon Union of Trenton and Vicinity, a spiritually based youth group. Bagwell is not only president for his local group, but for the entire state of New Jersey.
Bagwell will be attending Norfolk State University in Virginia. His goal is to be a doctor that specializes in sports medicine so that he can be the team doctor for a professional sports team.
“The ball gives me a chance to connect with other people I wouldn’t have a chance to meet. It means a lot to me because a lot of African Americans don’t have a chance to be looked at in a special way. We get to be cherished not only by our mothers, but by the communication” said Bagwell.
“It also gives us a chance to thank our moms, before going away to college,” he added.
His mother, Latisha, said that the ball shows that “not all young men are stereotypes. There are some good young men out there.”
Latisha teaches autistic and mentally disabled kids for the Mercer County Special Services School District. Bagwell’s father works for Cigna Healthcare in Philadelphia.
Nnamdi Banks-Eke is a senior at Nottingham High school. He has been on the honor roll, is a member of the National Society of High School Scholars, and was team captain in football.
Banks Eke has an athletic scholarship to Alverson and Broaddus University in West Virginia where he will study business management. He hopes to eventually play professional football. If that doesn’t work out, he wants to own a barber shop.
As a middle schooler, he was involved in Minding Our Business, an entrepreneurial program at Rider University, which got him interested in the idea of owning his own business.
His mother, Cebrina Eke, has been eager for him to be a Gentleman since she heard about the program a few years ago.
“I love it,” she said. “There should be more things like this for kids to do and be recognized for their accomplishments.”
Eke works in retail, as does Banks-Eke’s father.
Eke said that she is most proud of Banks-Eke’s accomplishments on the football field. He transferred from Hamilton West as a senior, so he could play for the football team. At Nottingham he was excelled, was made captain and earned several awards.
“He had to learn a new system. I really respected him, just to watch him do what he really loves and to be good at it. It just brings me to tears sometimes,” said Eke. She said she was hesitant to let him transfer as a senior, but it has been a very good experience.
Malik Snead is a senior at Hamilton High School West. He runs track and plays football, and basketball. He was one of the top players in the state in football and went to the state Tournament of Champions in track, where he came in 19th for the triple jump.
Next year he will be attending either Lincoln College or American National College. He wants to studying communication arts, which includes film and telecommunications.
“I want to film movies or maybe be a producer one day,” he said.
He has been enjoying participating in the Gentlemen’s Ball.
“I’m thankful to be here to be honored,” he said.
“It’s just a real honor,” said his mother, Terria Howard, who works for the post office in Trenton. “It shows his character, who he is, how well mannered, that he has respect for others.”
Howard said that she is especially proud of Snead because he will be the first member of her family to go to college other than community college.
She is also looking forward to the ball itself.
“I’m excited to see it all put together,” she said. “I’m ready to have a nice gown, see my son in a nice tux and being honored. He truly is a gentleman.”
The Gentlemen’s Ball is an event that is unique to the Trenton chapter of the Urban League Guild, but Baxter hopes that others will emulate the program.
“I would encourage others to get into it,” he said. “Unfortunately in society—the things going on in Baltimore, in Ferguson, in New York—young African American men’s lives are being taken. Here, young African American men’s lives are taking off. The goal is to celebrate young men doing the right thing. It’s just what the world needs.”
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