Velinda Ramsey, an EHS Freshman who was born with Down syndrome, poses in her cheerleader uniform.
Ewing High School cheerleader Velinda Ramsey with her brother Vernon, Jr.
Despite having Down syndrome, Ewing High School freshman Velinda Ramsey won a spot on the school’s cheerleading squad
By Lacey Ross
After about seven hours of labor on April 13, 1997, Vernon Ramsey held his wife Norma’s hand as doctors performed an emergency C-Section to bring his daughter, Velinda, into the world.
But, immediately, Norma and Vernon knew something was wrong.
“She was having trouble breathing and when she did come out, her heartbeat decreased,” Norma said. “Her lips were blue and it was scary.”
The baby was put on oxygen right away, but it took a few days of testing for a final diagnosis to come: Velinda had Down syndrome.
The Ramseys were grateful to have their baby girl, but they were shocked by the words from their doctor and knew little about what that diagnosis meant.
“We wondered if it was something we did,” Vernon said. “We felt guilt and we had to learn that there was nothing we could have done about it. It’s just a chromosome difference that creates these things. Getting over that, it was just making sure that she was going to be OK. We just prayed and went from there.”
Velinda spent a number of weeks in the hospital before she was able to go home, and at five-months old she had open-heart surgery to repair a hole in her heart.
Today, her parents describe her as a vibrant, loving, 16-year-old girl. She attends Ewing High School, where she participates on its varsity cheerleading team. Despite her diagnosis, Velinda’s parents look back on the years with pride, and realize that their daughter is a lot like any other typical teenager.
“She’s my special little angel,” Norma said. “She has become such a wonderful child because there’s nothing really different to me. Everything she does just takes a little longer. She can do it, but it takes a little longer.”
To ensure that Velinda would be able to function in the community one day as an independent adult, Norma said she always felt it was important that her daughter attend public schools and be in an inclusive educational setting, where she is surrounded by “typical” students and can interact with all kinds of peers on a daily basis.
“Being around other children that are ‘normal’ means a lot,” Vernon said. “It helps out a lot with Velinda in terms of giving her examples to strive for.”
Velinda attended the Joseph Cappello School in Trenton for her initial schooling, but has since gone on to attend Antheil Elementary School, Fisher Middle School and is currently a 9th-grader at the high school, where she is in a program with six other special needs students, some with Down syndrome.
The program, which was created five years ago, grew out of the school board’s strong belief in equal opportunities for students with disabilities, said Harold Louth, director of special services and special programs for the Ewing Public School District.
“The purpose of the high school life-skills program is to provide education relating to high school standards and promote independence self-advocacy skills as students prepare for life after graduation,” he said.
Kristen Lewis, who is Velinda’s teacher at Ewing High School, said some of the most memorable moments of teaching students like Velinda come from seeing them shine in extra-curricular activities, watching them celebrate at senior prom and, finally, seeing them walk across the stage at graduation.
“[Velinda’s] successful participation on varsity cheerleading with her peers at Ewing High School is one of many instances demonstrating the accepting school climate that is embodied by the Ewing Public Schools,” Lewis said.
Vernon said it was no surprise when Velinda decided she wanted to be a part of the cheerleading team.
“Even as a child, she always would remember dance moves really well,” he said. “She picks up dance moves really well. She’s been a dancer since she was a little kid.”
Aside from cheerleading, Velinda is also a member of the school’s Project Unify Club, which focuses on unifying students who have disabilities with general education students to raise awareness throughout the community, Louth said. Currently, there are 20 students who take part in the club.
“This club meets once a week with nondisabled peers who are all included and welcomed to join,” Louth said, adding that this month, students will be having a Disability/Respect Awareness Week “to raise awareness for disabilities and teach students how to respect and understand issues related to the disabled peers.”
Unify has helped Velinda improve her social skills, Norma said, adding that Velinda also participates in a number of other organizations and camps outside of school that prepare her for adulthood.
“She knows she has Down syndrome and she wants to be treated just like everybody else,” Norma said. “It’s a great club that she’s in. The kids always support her.”
Still, her parents said there are limits to what Velinda has been able to accomplish so far.
“She can’t tie her shoes,” Norma said. “That’s one thing she still can’t do. She hasn’t been able to learn how to ride a bike. Teaching hygiene is a challenge.”
For all children with Down syndrome, Norma said healthy eating habits are critical because obesity can cause a number of complications that could exacerbate other symptoms. For example, Velinda was born with problems with her feet — so she often needs to wear special shoes or braces — and low bone density.
“If she becomes overweight, she will have problems in the future,” Norma said. “That’s something she will have to deal with for the rest of her life. Obesity in Down is common, so we need to keep watching it.”
That means teaching Velinda to monitor her portions and sugar intake on her own.
Despite all of Velinda’s success, her parents still have to face the fact that they may not always be around to take care of her when she is an adult. Norma said raising her daughter to be independent has been the ultimate motivation over the years.
“I always tell her she’s not going to be at momma’s house forever,” Norma said. “I want her in her own apartment. We will be right here, but I want her to have her own life. I don’t want her to be in our house all the time because if something ever happens to us, I want her to know how to live on her own.”
The ability to use public transportation, wash her clothes, prepare her own meals and do her own shopping are just a few of the skills Vernon said he wants his daughter to master over the coming years.
Norma and Vernon said they want to share what they have learned over the years with young parents who are stunned by news of a down syndrome diagnosis, the same way that they were 16 years ago. The key, they said, is to “reach out” and learn all you can about the programs the community has to offer, as well as joining a local support group.
“A lot of times people will sit back and feel sorry for themselves,” Vernon said. “You have to reach out and if there is anything you can do to find out what is available out there it is very important. Talk to other parents. You feel like you’re by yourself, but you’re not. You need to talk about what you’re going through.”
As for Velinda, Norma said the sky is her limit. Both parents hope their daughter can graduate high school and then go on to attend a special program at one of the local universities, like Rider or The College of New Jersey, that will allow her to live on campus and continue her education, as long as that is what Velinda wants for herself.
“If she doesn’t want to go to college, OK,” Norma said. “My vision is to see Velinda independent in her own place, doing her own thing with all her support around her. I want to see her out there, on her own, like everyone else. That’s why I teach her now to get out there on her own and have a job like everyone else.”
In the end, what Velinda wants for her own life is what matters most, Vernon said. That’s why when she wanted to cheer, they encouraged her to join the team.
“I don’t want Velinda to ever be restricted to what someone else believes she can do,” he said. “If she fails at something on her own, that’s one thing, but I never want her to be limited by someone else’s expectations for her.”
Velinda views her older brother, Vernon Ramsey Jr., who is now 28 years old, “like a rockstar.” Norma said the two have a great relationship, even though it was difficult for him in the beginning, when he was used to being the only child and then suddenly had to share his parents with a sister who has special needs.
“Kids are mean,” Vernon Sr. said. “Kids say things. He had to hear some of the comments about his sister not being normal. It broke my heart to see him have to go through that, but he made it through and he always would defend his sister.”
Seeing Velinda in her cheerleading uniform, performing in front of the crowds at football and basketball games fills her parents with pride, as they remember how far her daughter has come.
“We feel like we are the luckiest people in the stands,” Vernon said. “It changed our life having her. Everything that she accomplishes, we are proud of.”
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