I will be turning 40 this year. 40! Four-zero. I can’t even fathom the thought of turning 40.
The first time I celebrated a 40th birthday party was when I was in sixth grade, when my dad threw my mom a surprise 40th birthday party at our Theresa Street house.
My mom’s birthday is in January, so everyone was pretty much inside because of the cold, and I vividly remember the Beach Boys and Bruce Springsteen songs blasting through our boombox speakers.
I was 12 years old and, not to crap on my mom’s party, I thought people would be dancing and living it up. No, they were 40 and wanted to hang out, talk, eat good food and have a drink or two without their kids bothering them.
This party was awesome for them, but I thought it was rather dull. Where’s the DJ? I wanted to hear TLC, LL Cool J and Biggie. I mean at least give me the Macarena. These 40-year-olds didn’t want to get up from their chairs or leave their circle of conversation.
Now, my birthday was never a big deal to me. My parents, my brother and my wife took it serious. I’m just like my grandfather Pop because he would say, “It’s just another day.” My brother and my mom were way different. They celebrated the whole darn month!
I remember when I turned 30, I thought that 40-year-olds were super old, yet here we are. Where did the time go? I swear just the other day I was partying with my girlfriend Michelle and my friends, staying out until the Firkin Tavern called last call.
Heading to Parx Casino at 8 p.m. and not getting home until 2 or 3 in the morning. How about Manayunk and Philly nights and grabbing cheesesteaks at Geno’s at 3 a.m.? Going to The Pool and Dusk in AC or D’Jais and Bar A in Belmar. I can still feel my Atlantic City hangovers. Ugh, where’s the Tylenol!
How in the heck did I get this old so quickly? Is 40 that old? Because I’m pretty certain I can still lace up my soccer spikes and play a 7v7 game at the drop of a dime.
Wait, soccer spikes cost how much now? You are nuts, I’m not paying that. I have a mortgage to pay! I’ll sit this game and the rest of the season out.
I’m turning 40, so I should be thinking of my health more. I should probably go to the gym since I’ve been paying $20 a month and I haven’t been inside that place since Obama was in office. Oh wait, never mind. My wife just told me that gym closed down like two years ago. If it didn’t close, I was totally going to go tomorrow.
It feels like this 40 thing crept up really quickly. You know what else crept up? Getting out of bed and my back aching. Did I lift a bunch of boulders last night? Nope, I just slept in the wrong position and now I need Advil and coffee to get this engine going.
What happened to me? I used to be a physical specimen in the gym like six or seven days a week. Now I have a long routine just to go to bed. Take a shower at 6:30 p.m., put on my anti-aging face lotion (my wife got it for me and I’m not gonna lie, it works wonders).
Then set my alarm, lay out my clothes for work, and come downstairs just as “Jeopardy!” starts. What does everyone think of Ken Jennings as the host? I mean I miss Alex Trebek but Ken does a pretty good job.
Hold on, this is what old people do! I’m still young and cool. Well, at least that’s what the mirror just said back to me.
Donnie Black was born and grew up in Ewing Township. He currently works at radio station XTU in Philadelphia as a producer, on air personality and promotions director.
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