I ask for so little. I don’t want a mansion. I don’t want a fancy car. I don’t want a huge closet filled with designer clothes. I don’t want tons of money. Wait. On second thought, maybe I DO want tons of money. Anyway, you get my drift. I do not ask for much.
I do require one thing, though. I NEED peace and quiet while I have my morning coffee. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to participate in any activities. In short, and with all due respect, leave me alone. I like to sit, sip my coffee, breathe, think about the day ahead and all the tasks I can get away with not accomplishing.
This is sacred time for me. Weather permitting, from roughly April through October, I enjoy my morning coffee out on the back patio. I watch the birds, I watch the squirrels, I just chill out and guzzle caffeine and postpone getting dressed and adulting.
Enter Peaches, stage left. Peaches is one of our two dogs. She is a Jack Russell terrier/chihuahua mix. She weighs 8 pounds soaking wet and is way too cute for her own good. Peaches likes to join me while I drink my morning coffee. I have no objection to this. She sits on the wicker loveseat with me and surveys her turf. Very tranquil.
But Peaches is a terrier. Terriers were bred to hunt foxes. They also have a very strong prey drive. So besides stalking squirrels, which takes about 98% of her outdoor time, she also hunts for insects and other small invaders in “her” yard. Lately Peaches finds that the morning is the most convenient time for her to perform this task.
I find myself, between sips of coffee, yelling at Peaches to stop hunting, or “hoovering,” as I call it. If you’re one of our neighbors, you are hearing this at about 7AM: “PEACHES! Peach! Peach! Peach! Get over here! Peaches! Peach! Leave it. Drop it. Come here now!” And Peaches listens. Eventually.
Yeah. She comes. BUT….. she brings her “friends” with her. I’ve been presented with bugs (most often cicadas) and other critters, on a regular basis. She is extremely proud of the gifts she gives me. Her tail wags, her hind part wriggles, and she waits for my praise. Sometime she makes a little early morning game out of it. She holds the critter in her mouth while staring up at me with adoration and refuses to drop it.
So I have to get up, pick her up, and pry the still kicking cicada from her mouth. I am not a very squeamish person, but when you’re trying to start your day peacefully and you find yourself with cicada guts all over your hands and the clock has barely struck 7AM ……. you understand.
Today was a banner day. I was sitting on the loveseat, a fan whirling about 12 inches from my face (because it was 197 degrees out with a dew point of one million), sipping my coffee. Peaches is sniffing around the foundation of our house and all of a sudden I hear squeaking right next to the loveseat. I look down and she has TWO MICE lying on the patio. Peaches is VERY pleased with her discovery, wagging her tail and looking at me as if to say, “Look what I got you! Aren’t I the best girl in the world?”
One of the mice was lying perfectly still, either suffering a massive coronary or dead. The other one was lying on its side squirming and squeaking. Peaches was VERY EXCITED. Her tail was going and she was prancing around. New playmates!
I grab the mice by their tails and toss them over the fence into our side yard. I was thankful that the mice were fully intact at the time of the tossing. I have had to toss…um….not whole mice over that fence in the past.
After scrubbing my hands, I go back out to my now-cold coffee. There’s a gnat floating in it. A gnat, drowned in my magic elixir.
So much for starting my day peacefully. Maybe tomorrow.
Ilene Black has been a resident of Ewing for most of her life and lives across the street from her childhood home. She and her husband, George, have two sons, Georgie and Donnie.
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