I swore I would start 2017 with a positive and uplifting attitude. I would be more cheerful, less grumpy, less critical, less moody. But now that we are into the New Year, I have realized that there are a lot of things that really annoy me, on a daily basis, and they have conspired to make me break my determination to be Little Mrs. Sunshine of 2017.
Number one pet peeve: Junk emails. I was off from work over the holidays and when I came back, I had 1,227 junk emails. It literally took me over an hour to get rid of them. Stores, charities, petition-signing organizations, you name it, I got emails from them.
Number two pet peeve: When people say Merry Christmas to me in the middle of January. It’s over! The stores had Valentine ’s Day stuff on display on Dec. 26. Follow their lead. Move on!
Number three pet peeve: When stores put out Valentine’s Day stuff on Dec. 26.
Number four pet peeve: Telemarketers. Nowadays we don’t answer our landline if we don’t know the number, but still. The ringing phone is annoying. When my sons used to live at home, they’d mess around with telemarketers. Donnie picked up the phone one time and after realizing it was a telemarketer, screamed at the top of his lungs into the phone. Needless to say, the person on the other end hung up. I realize that these people have jobs to do, but quit calling me. I’m not buying what you are selling, mainly because you have annoyed me.
Number five pet peeve: Left lane laggers. These are people who drive very slowly in the left lane with no intention of speeding up or switching to the right lane. I don’t normally succumb to road rage, but these drivers really annoy me. And if I switch lanes and pass them (which I never do, because it’s illegal), they are often talking on their cell phone. This is one of the many times when an air horn would come in handy.
Number six pet peeve: Loud cell phone talkers. You know the ones. You’re out in public, at a restaurant, or in a doctor’s waiting room, or in the restroom, and someone is carrying on a loud and oftentimes very descriptive conversation on their cell phone. I have heard the intimate details of many people’s health, finances, job problems, love lives, personal grudges, and one time I even heard an ugly break-up.
Like, complete with swear words, accusations, crying, screaming. I was treated to all this because I had too much coffee to drink and used a public restroom at the wrong time. This young lady was pacing outside my stall getting broken up with. And by the way, what does one do in this case? Stay in the stall while this drama is being played out mere feet from where you are? Hold off flushing till the breakup has been completed? Awkward. So, yeah. Loud cell phone talkers. Not a big fan.
Number seven pet peeve: When I’m in line at the grocery store register and someone is ahead of me getting rung up and suddenly remembers a few last minute items that they absolutely cannot live without. So they run back into the aisles to gather up these life-or-death items while the cashier and I and everyone behind me mutter and twiddle our thumbs. And the person always comes back with an armload of things and never apologizes. Ever. If looks could kill.
Number eight pet peeve: When you are talking to someone and you konow they are not listening to one word you are saying. They are either surreptitiously looking at their cell phone, or looking around, or saying, “Yeah. Right. Uh huh. Oh,” but not taking in what you are saying, not one little bit. That’s when I am tempted to say something like, “And so yeah, from now on, please address me as Ilene, queen of everything, or I won’t respond.” Just to see if they are paying attention.
So a word of advice from Ilene, queen of everything: don’t do any of the things I talked about and we will be all good.
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