The following op-ed was submitted in response to the article” Road to Recovery” in the Aug. 2 issue of the News. The writer, a West Windsor resident, has asked that her name be withheld.
I read the article “Road to Recovery” and I found it interesting and promising, but also lacking in many facets. Under the headline it said, “with opioid use on the rise, area law enforcement looks to steer communities clear of danger.” The immediate problem here is that yes, opioid use is on the rise, but “use” and “abuse” are completely different things.
I am in my early 30s. For the past two years, I’ve become extremely sick with chronic physical illnesses—Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Disorder, along with mood instabilities, depression and endlessly horrifying symptoms. I’ve had problems with every possible area of my body, and my pain was straight up torture.
I have been “using” an opioid medication (morphine) every day as prescribed by a pain/spine specialist. I don’t abuse it or crave it, I just want to have some relief from the agonizing pain I feel 24 hours a day.
So using the term “opioid use” is misleading. There are people like me who are unable to function without less pain, but I am not addicted to opioids.
Addiction is completely different from physical dependence. Meaning if I suddenly stopped, I would have physical withdrawal symptoms, but if my pain wasn’t bad, I would prefer not to take it. I wouldn’t suddenly start going on the streets desperately looking for heroin.
When I was young, I liked getting drunk, high and being wild. The first drug I tried was heroin at 14. At the same time I started drinking, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, doing wet, dropping acid, eating ‘shrooms, taking Ecstasy, snorting coke, abusing amphetamines, speed, doing eight balls and whatever else I felt like.
But today I have no desire to get high any more. I don’t even like alcohol much. I don’t smoke cigarettes or even my legal medical weed, because it didn’t help my pain enough.
How did I get past all those years of drug abuse? I literally grew out of it, as my depression and mental illnesses began to rule my life. Clouding up my mind even more was the last thing I really wanted. Drinking when I was depressed put me in the mental hospital from near-death suicide attempts. Now, facing extreme hardships, I work on trying to stay healthy, and trying to gain back some energy and some strength, both of which had left me completely.
Not every opioid user becomes an addict. Yes, abuse has become a major problem in this country, but you need to also understand that there are responsible people who use them by the book for real reasons.
Oxycodone never felt the same as heroin. I don’t get high off my painkillers. Nor do I want to. I just want some of my pain and symptoms to simmer down so I can focus on the passions and talents I have.
I commend the efforts of law enforcement. Finally they’re starting to realize (really late) that addiction is a disease that needs serious ongoing treatment. Too many people have fallen between the cracks. Addicts are not necessarily horrible humans. They’re not thinking straight any more, and they need help. The “war on drugs” was a horrible idea that obviously was a huge failure.
Opioid meds are so stigmatized now that if I mention that I’m on painkillers, suddenly no one cares how much pain I’m in. I’m suddenly assumed to be an addict. Stigma is dangerous. It makes people afraid to speak up, to ask for help, to re-learn how to live and function in society, in their own minds.
Your article is very business-like, with highlights of some hope and humanity. But you must be able to balance that with continued efforts of prevention, because these all the big pharma companies care about is making dough. And that, they sure do. They get away with murder. Literally.
People must be aware that some people really need the medication. I cannot tell you how bad my chronic pain has been for years. You can’t even imagine it. And still, I don’t like what the morphine is doing inside my body and mind. While the reason I take it is for my peace of mind and body. Percocet was just not helping very much.
There are many different sides to this whole situation, and I felt your article came across as one-sided. It never said one thing about about people like me.
I believe real people with real experiences should have the opportunities to speak up and humanize their side of the story to educate those who don’t understand what it’s like.
I never ever expected my life to just stop one day. I’ve learned such valuable lessons about the importance of appreciating the things you have, the choices you can make, and not taking things for granted.
