Anil Sharma came to America for a career in wrestling and to make a home for his family
By Christine Ott
Anil Sharma came to America from the other side of the world to pursue his passion for wrestling in America.
Sharma, who originally hails from New Delhi, India, will be one step closer to his goal this month, when he starts working as a coach at the Princeton Amateur Wrestling Society in Princeton.
He will be working with about 25 Olympic hopefuls at PAWS, which is the state’s first Olympic Regional Training Center for wrestling.
Sharma, 35, of Ewing, brings a cultural and personal wrestling tradition with him from his country — his father, Dev Dutt Sharma, and grandfather, Kharak Singh Sharma, were famous wrestlers in India, and they instilled a desire for the sport in Anil.
“I won some competitions as a kid, and was a champion when I was a university student,” Sharma said. He continued to wrestle after graduating with a degree in Hindi literature from Delhi University, and began coaching, as well.
In 2006, Sharma got a coaching degree from United World Wrestling, the sport’s governing agency (known until September 2014 as FILA, from the French name for the organization, Fédération Internationale des Luttes Associées). That was the year he took his first trip to the United States.
“We went to Colorado Springs, and I knew I wanted to move to America,” Sharma said.
He continued coaching back in India while working toward his dream. In 2012, Sharma got his visa through his association with UWW and came to America.
Despite the growing success in his pursuit of a wrestling career, a huge part of Sharma’s life is still back in India.
While he was working to get his visa in India, Sharma married his wife, Seema, an elementary school teacher. It was an arranged marriage, Sharma said, but the couple’s parents were effective matchmakers. Love bloomed. They had a baby boy, Bhavya, and his married life was off to a great start.
Then his visa came through, forcing him to choose between his dream of coming to America and the life he had created with his family. Seema encouraged Sharma to follow his ambitions, and about 2 years ago he said goodbye, which simultaneously filled him with optimism and sorrow, to make a better life in New Jersey. Sharma said he hopes to bring Seema and Bhavya to this country next year.
“My son just turned 4 in September. It’s hard,” he said, his voice shaking. “I miss them so much.”
There’s a 10-hour time difference between Sharma’s two worlds, but internet phone calls and instant messaging make the distance between those worlds a little smaller and provide him with emotional fuel.
“We talk every day. Every day,” Sharma said, looking at his cell phone full of recent photos of Seema and Bhavya. “My wife is my strength.”
Despite his obvious heartache, Sharma is positively upbeat. “I am so grateful to be here. I thank God for giving me such good people.”
Those people include Agnes Mills, a Ewing resident he met at a local store.
“I haven’t met a person who doesn’t like Anil,” said Mills, who has become like a second mother to Anil Sharma. They made eye contact when they met and he called her “mama,” Mills said. “He said, ‘You are my mom!’”
“It may seem strange,” Mills added, “but I needed him. He’s supposed to be on my path. And he is so poised, so wise. My kids love him.”
Mills and Sharma both wear matching saffron-colored thread bracelets that they got at his temple. The bracelets, Sharma said, are worn to show a familial love. “Usually between brothers and sisters, but sometimes moms and sons,” he said. “There was an instant bond when we met,” Sharma said.
Sharma also loves the bonds that can be created through competitive sport, but feels there’s too much emphasis on winning here in America, especially with youth sports.
“Wrestling is more than a sport,” he said. “It’s about respect and sportsmanship. I tell all of my students that, win or lose, you are still friends when the day is over.”
While Sharma will be focusing on the Olympic hopefuls at PAWS this season, he expects to work in the organization’s recreational division in the coming months. “School wrestling starts in December, so we’ll be getting the kids ready,” Sharma said.
In addition to his understandable homesickness, there are some aspects of American culture that are troubling to Sharma, which he mentions without judgment, but rather with a hint of sadness.
“People work too much in America,” he said. “Love, understanding and respect are so important for everyone. We need more of that here. There isn’t enough. People are moving too fast and not together. In India, every day is Mother’s Day. Every day is Father’s Day. That’s the way it should be.”
While some cultural differences are challenging for Sharma, from a work perspective, he has no complaints. “The facilities here in America are wonderful, and so is the atmosphere of wrestling. I am very excited for the season to start,” Sharma said.
Sharma speaks well of America in general, and is glad to be fulfilling his dream, and, he said, everyone he’s spent time with has been kind and helpful.
“He is a very positive person,” Mills said of Sharma.
Sharma agreed. “It’s easy to be positive. I am surrounded by supportive people. I am so grateful for that.”
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