Recently, I asked a group of teens to indicate whether they were confident or fearful as public speakers. On a scale of 0-10, with 0 being comfortable and confident and 10 being fearful and lacking confidence, the majority of responses were between 4.5 and 6. There were a few whose fear was as high as 9 and one who rated his lack of confidence at 12!
I’m not surprised! Public speaking remains one of the most feared experiences many of us face. Some would rather die than make a speech! Most of us received little or no public speaking training. I’ve listened to many subject-matter experts who were unable to deliver a strong, dynamic communication in their area of specialty. In fact, most business professionals receive this training too late, having already internalized their disappointment about their previous “less than” performances.
Our school systems have extensive programs to teach the language arts of reading and writing, but very little instruction in the language skills of speaking and listening. It seems there’s an incorrect assumption that, because we learn to speak and listen before we enter school, these communication skills are intact, effective, and don’t need to be taught.
However, communication specialists know that conversation, discussion, and presentation require different abilities. And being skilled at one does not necessarily mean being skilled at all.
Speaking confidence involves being comfortable speaking one-to-one to friends, teammates, and superiors, as well as speaking to groups or public speaking. Speaking confidence, or lack thereof, impacts everyone’s sense of identity and relationship. It is a critical factor for job interviews and promotions, college admissions, successful interpersonal relationships, and leadership and civic roles.
Public speaking is a form of communication requiring very specific skills. Whether you are introducing an award recipient or speaker, making a toast, participating on the debate team or presenting a formal presentation, there are skills to learn and hone that will drive your speaking confidence and ultimate success.
Ironically, some of these skills relate to not talking. Your audience listens with its eyes before listening with its ears. Your communication impact begins with the perception of how you appear and what you do before you speak. Yes, it’s important to “dress for success” or to turn off your cell phone in an interview, but these are just the beginning basics of first impressions and business etiquette.
The “invisible speaking skills” of silence, energy, connection, and engagement are the keys to speaking with confidence, especially when you are speaking to many at once. These skills impact both the speaker and the listener at the deepest level and influence how your message “gets through.”
There are many speaking programs to choose from to learn how to craft a speech and how to manage body language. These skill sets are important. But it is the invisible energetic elements that make the speaker’s message “stick,” creating confidence and, ultimately, audience satisfaction.
Eileen N. Sinett is a speaker, presentation coach, consultant, and author of Speaking that Connects, 2011. Her Plainsboro-based business, Speaking that Connects/Eileen N. Sinett Communications, promotes confidence, clarity and connection in speakers worldwide and provides communication programs to individuals, businesses and the community. For additional information contact Eileen at 609-799-1400 www.speakingthatconnects.com.
