Reality shows, YouTube, and over-the-top celebrations may have teenagers thinking about impressing their friends by asking someone out in a way that makes a splash at school. But for the second year in a row, WW-P has sent students a message: there will be no promposing here.
A “promposal” — by school district standards — is a public display when one student asks another student to the high school prom in a public setting. School district spokeswoman Gerri Hutner said that in each of the last two years a few students made promposals during the school day.
Examples of incidents the district wishes to avoid include the following: the person being asked was embarrassed to be in the spotlight; when the person did not want to go to the prom with the person asking the question; when the person has to answer “no” in front of a group; or when a person is not asked.
“There was a general feeling that these public displays were not beneficial for a number of reasons. It could be a very embarrassing and upsetting experience to be among a group of students in a public setting and they were being asked and you were not asked,” Hutner says.
However, a High School South senior who chose to remain anonymous said there was another factor involved in the administration’s decision. “A kid last year was hurt after he promposed in front of the whole school and the girl rejected him,” the student said.
South Principal Roseann Bonino sent a memo out on February 6 to school faculty. In it, she referenced that scenario and others:
“When the answer was ‘no’ it was totally humiliating to get rejected in front of a large crowd,” she wrote.
The memo also said the decision was partly based on a safety.
“It became a safety issue when mobs of kids all ran to a certain spot to try to witness the promposal (usually during lunch),” the memo read. According to Hutner the administration felt that large groups of students convocating for or around promposals “may not be a very safe environment for all students.”
Bonino’s memo to teachers also noted that promposals in the past two years had distracted students during school.
“It was becoming disruptive to the learning environment. Students were planning promposals, doing promposals, and then doing a recap of the promposal throughout the school day,” she wrote.
Last year a graduating senior at South, James Cornick, planned an extravagant promposal to invite his classmate Megan Spencer to the prom. However, because he was aware of the new rules, Cornick strategized to avoid any trouble with the administration. He set up to have a large gathering of students in the auxiliary gym, complete with banners and a video camera, all to surprise Spencer. She said yes to his promposal and the pair did attend the prom together (see photograph, page 1).
To date WW-P has never suspended a student for making a promposal. Hutner says that students are “certainly” permitted to ask their peers to prom on a personal, one-on-one invitation basis. Bonino’s note states this too, plus it permits promposals off of school grounds.
“If you want to do a public promposal, that’s fine, but plan to do it outside of school and not during the school day. Let’s keep school a safe and happy place for EVERYONE!!” the memo stated.
The move by WW-P came with a well-known precedent, however. In the spring of 2011, the story of James Tate — a teenager in Shelton, Conn., who promposed to his girlfriend by pasting giant cardboard letters to the wall of his high school — spread across the globe when headmaster Beth Smith suspended him from attending prom. Smith argued that Tate’s actions went against the culture of Shelton High School, and Tate and two friends who helped him paste the letters were given one-day, in-house suspensions and banned from attending prom.
As the news spread Tate appeared as a guest on NBC’s Today Show and Jimmy Kimmel Live to speak about the promposal. Smith finally reversed her decision and allowed the boys to attend prom after the school and Connecticut lawmakers were inundated with calls supporting Tate from as far away as England, South America, Australia and New Zealand.
Hutner says promposals haven’t gone that far in WW-P, and the enforcement of the ban is a preventative measure.
“We did not have any specific instances like that last year because students heard the message from the principal and teachers to not have these “public” invitations. We had no incidents last year and students will be reminded again this year when it’s time for prom tickets to go on sale,” she said.
Last year students were informed of the new regulation through their teachers. This year the word will spread less discreetly. During morning announcement periods the week of February 6-10 students were reminded of the ban, and Hutner said it will also be part of written announcements. Information on promposals has yet to appeared on the school district’s website, however.
Finally, there was some lighthearted humor included in Bonino’s message: “Hey boys, let’s admit it, the pressure is off to try to ‘out-do’ one another with your promposal!”
