Can you run to the store and buy me a bracelet, today, Mom?” asked Will.
Thinking he had something up his sleeve for Valentine’s Day, I smiled and asked, “What kind of bracelet do you need?” “It’s like the Livestrong bracelet,” he explained, “but it says I Love (expressed with a heart) Boobies, and it’s a fund raiser for breast cancer. A lot of my friends are wearing them.”
Though Bill rides his bicycle for all sorts of causes and we have raised our children to be socially conscious, it was the first time I had heard Will expressing an interest in raising money for breast cancer. Though I do not mean to impugn his sincerity, I knew what really was going on. It was the titillation factor, so to speak, of the anatomically incorrect name for breasts that so intrigued my son, just turned 12 last month. It was the idea of wearing something so deliciously naughty in public, in support of such a noble effort, no less.
As my friend Carmen Morfe of West Windsor, a mother of three now all in their 20s, noted, “Of course a young boy wants to wear a bracelet that says boobies on it. It’s totally tongue-in-cheek humor. Would he be allowed to wear a boobies T-shirt to school? No. Granted a bracelet is more discreet than a T-shirt, but the effect is the same — a smile and a ‘You Got Away with Wearing That!’ ”
While I am no prude, I agreed with Carmen and thought the idea of Will wearing such a bracelet pushed the boundaries of good taste. Bill concurred. “If an organization has to resort to such a provocative means to raise money, then it is barking up the wrong tree. We are not going to be the family that is out in front on this.” There was no pun intended, but sometimes my husband is more clever than he thinks. So perhaps subliminally, there was.
The bracelets sell for $4.99 in stores and $3 online and are marketed by the “Keep a Breast Foundation,” which bills itself as a non-profit and advertises in this way: “Who doesn’t love boobies? Well now you can show off your love for boobies by supporting the cause to help increase breast cancer awareness by purchasing an I Heart Boobies Bracelet.”
While some schools across the country have banned the bracelets because of their controversial nature, other schools have not, or at least are choosing to look the other way, since they do draw attention and money to a good cause. How do you say no to good intent? But there are others who question the motive, including a friend of mine, who is a mother and breast cancer survivor. “If Livestrong can come up with a cool, classy plastic bracelet, why can’t the breast cancer research people? Susan G. Komen would do something cool and classy, I can guarantee you that. The bottom line is breasts are NOT boobies. Breasts are breasts and breast cancer is a serious disease.”
Tracey Merrill of West Windsor is the mother of a teenage son and a teenage daughter. “For me it’s like the girls’ pants that have wording written across their buttocks. I find that type of clothing inappropriate as well. You are just asking for people, no matter what age or gender to look at your daughter’s backside while walking by. We are sending girls the wrong message at a very early age that this type of marketing and the comments they receive from wearing these items is okay, when it certainly is not.”
The bracelets have been showing up in certain schools in the West Windsor-Plainsboro School District, but not in such numbers to elicit any parental outrage or necessitate action by administrators. But the topic is top of mind with my friends and neighbors, so I asked district spokeswoman Gerri Hutner for her opinion.
“As you can imagine, in some instances, the comment on the bracelet could be found to be offensive. In other instances, the bracelet, for its intended purposes, is worn to foster an awareness and support of breast cancer. When I chatted with the principals, it was stated that if an item a student wears, any item, was offensive, the student usually is asked to remove the item. We ask that students consider the power of a worded slogan or message before ‘wearing’ an item in public.”
For fans of the U.S. Constitution, there is always the First Amendment to invoke, the right to free speech. But in any school district, there is the age spread to consider. Even if something is okay for an 18-year-old high school senior to wear, would it be appropriate for a kindergartner at Town Center School? While many parents do find the bracelet offensive and would not allow their own child to wear one, there are plenty of others who think that it is accomplishing exactly what it intended to do –– draw attention to an important cause and raise badly needed dollars.
Carmine Testa, a friend and the father of a nine-year-old boy and seven-year-old girl, sees nothing wrong with the bracelet or the message. “Look, if it is getting a 12-year-old boy to be aware of breast cancer and to talk about it, then it’s doing something positive. At that age, kids only think about themselves, so if the bracelet helps them get outside themselves and think about helping others, I think it’s pretty admirable.”
As for us, Will has dropped the matter, at least for now. Even kids have to decide which battles are worth fighting. But if he decides to appeal the decision when he’s older, I’d like to think I would have an open mind and give him a chance to express his opinion.
What do you think? You can E-mail me at eunakwon@aol.com. I’d love to hear from you.
