Over the past three decades, speech pathologist Eileen Sinett of Plainsboro has become something of a communications guru. And, like any guru, she has mantras — distilled expressions that speak to the very heart of her enterprise. “Speaking that Connects,” is one. “Thought/Action/Presence: Leadership” is another.
Sinett believes that “great leaders are excellent communicators.” Her business, Comprehensive Communication Services (CCS), offers customized training and coaching programs designed to promote self-confident leadership and improved relationships. In short, she helps corporate clients and their employees succeed in getting their message across. “Communication involves sharing in a way that makes people listen, and listening in a way that facilitates sharing,” says Sinett. “It’s also about being comfortable in your own skin.”
Her clients not only acquire effective business skills, they also find themselves more at ease in social situations. Sinett has coached professionals on the best way to get the attention of Washington, D.C., policy makers and groomed others for corporate advancement. Clients include employees at Plainsboro Public Library, Rider University, RWJ University Hospital Hamilton, and Mathematica Policy Research, among others.
She has been hired one-on-one for series or one-day programs, even for “lunch and learn” mini seminars on topics ranging from visual aid design to body language. Her services range from help with pronunciation and accent to presentation design and delivery. She coaches speakers for conferences and televised interviews using videotapes and peer feedback as tools.
Six years ago, former director of the Plainsboro Public Library Jinny Baeckler asked Sinett to step in as substitute teacher for an ESL (English as a Second Language) conversation class. Recently, Sinett has combined her business expertise with the needs of her ESL students at the library. A program she designed for entrepreneurs and public speaking clients, called “Rehearsals,” in which clients share personal anecdotes, evolved quite naturally into DEPTH (Delivering Exceptional Presentations That Heal), which provides practice for her public speaking clients and learning opportunities for her ESL students.
Here’s how it works: public speaking clients relate a story on a universal theme such as fear, abandonment, or the need to be heard to an audience of ESL students. In small breakout groups the ESL students provide the speaker with feedback on how well they understood the story and how the speaker presented it, and the ESL students share stories on the same topic.
The first DEPTH program took place earlier this month at the Plainsboro Public Library. The next is slated for Thursday, July 28. Sinett will lead a workshop/seminar on how to express yourself at the New Jersey Hospital Association Conference Center on Alexander Road on Friday, August 5.
“The DEPTH program is designed to favor small group conversations,” Sinett explains. “Team leaders make sure the meat of the story is shared and once the story is understood, there’s a whole other discussion, often based around cultural differences, expectations, and behaviors. It’s a rich sharing that bridges the gaps between first and second speakers of English.”
She says both native English speakers and non-native speakers face their own set of challenges.
“Americans, being largely unilingual, have little practice listening to other languages. They have trouble staying focused on the speaker because of accent, grammar, hesitations, and sometimes vocabulary (the wrong word). Listening is a complex activity we tend to take for granted. We weren’t really taught how to listen like we were taught how to read and write. We often just ‘half-listen’ while we multi-task or think of something else we find more interesting. Americans get impatient when there’s a communication breakdown. They tend to blame the non-native speaker. Our fast-paced culture contributes to this impatience.”
On the other side of the coin, Sinett says ESL speakers are challenged by a lack of confidence and feelings of inadequacy. “Many second language speakers understand everything that’s being spoken but choose to remain silent, embarrassed by their lack of proficiency. When they do risk speaking, they are frequently not understood because of their accent, grammar, intonation patterns, word choice, etc. Many of the cultures are overly concerned about speaking ‘proper’ English, and want to know how long it will take for this to happen.”
She explains that the DEPTH program uses public speaking and universal storytelling as a vehicle to engage more dialogue between first and second English language speakers. Despite the skill of the speaker, Sinett found that many ESL students struggled to understand the specifics of the story being told.
During one of the first DEPTH programs, Sinett discovered that when the audience was directed to participate in small group discussions, an American-born speaker needed to retell the story because there was confusion and incomplete comprehension. “I had not planned on this but was able to improvise. Once that happened, which involved many questions and repeated reviews, the individuals were able to respond to deeper questions about the story’s lesson and share perspectives and associated experiences.
“One American-born participant shared back to the group that she realized that to effectively communicate to the ESL listener, she needed to be much more deliberate in her communication,” Sinett continues. “She had to reduce wordiness and add more space and see that the message was being understood. She had to say less, check in non-verbally, and then continue, rather than go forward on automatic pilot. Another American commented that he had to be more expressive and dramatic with his explanation, often using more non-verbal body language for assistance.”
Sinett’s first book, “Speaking That Connects,” soon to be published by Open Door Publications, discusses, among other things, the energy involved in public speaking. According to Sinett, energy in the room itself and between speaker and audience is a very real yet often overlooked part of the presentation process, involving spirit and passion, you might even call it heart.
How do you achieve presence and connect with your audience? Sinett says the process involves breath, vulnerability, and silence — and uses herself as an example. “In the past, I would have masked my weaknesses and acted as if I was completely comfortable. Over time, I’ve learned to stop pretending and to allow people to see my vulnerabilities. The key to being comfortable in your own skin is to allow your authentic self to be seen.”
Sinett grew up in Woodbridge and Metuchen before settling in Plainsboro in 1985. Her father, Arthur Sinett (now deceased) owned a variety of businesses including a trucking company, a shoe store, and a tavern. Her mom, Sylvia Sinett, who now lives in Florida, was a fulltime homemaker who raised seven children including twins. Eileen is the oldest. “My father was a very social ‘I can do anything’ personality and a hard-working gutsy entrepreneur. Besides being a nurturer, my mother was very private with a deep commitment to her faith and a very strong sense of self,” she says. “I guess I got a bit of my father’s gumption and a bit of my mother’s nurturing.
“The nurturer in me loves helping people develop, enhancing their skills and driving excellence. With an ESL class the goal is not just to improve one’s language skills but to enhance self-confidence and a sense of wholeness and fullness. The same goes for speech therapy. I want to get to the heart of communication of all types of language. Just as weeding gives flowers a chance to develop and thrive, you have to take away what doesn’t work in order to reinforce and support what does.”
After graduating in 1971 with a bachelor’s degree in speech pathology and audiology from Emerson College in Boston, Sinett worked in a hospital with language-challenged children and adults with aphasia, stuttering, and autism issues. Through evening classes at Kean University, she earned a master’s degree in speech correction in 1974. That same year she landed her dream job as director of communication with the Education Services Division for what was then Rutgers Medical School, now UMDNJ. Five years later, she was downsized.
“In retrospect, I guess I was pretty feisty,” she says. “I loved the creative aspect of my job, which had involved mentoring college graduates and teaching medical students, and I really wanted to find an equally interesting position, but there was nothing out there.”
So Sinett hung out her speech pathologist’s shingle. “I took my savings and rented space in a professional building in Somerset, but the insurance industry wasn’t reimbursing clients for speech and language services, so it was hard to get a practice established.” Instead, she found corporate and multicultural clients and built up coaching and public speaking programs. Within a year, she founded Comprehensive Communication Services.
She moved from Somerset to Plainsboro in 1985 when the house she had been renting was sold, and she needed to find a new place to live. She rented a house with a garden and found it so congenial that she bought the house five years later.
She says she is delighted and amazed to see that her 20-year-old daughter, Tracey Haneman, a graduate of North, now studying for a double major in international studies and linguistics at Northwestern University, seems to be heading toward a similar field to her own. Tracey might also have inherited some of her grandfather’s gumption. She is off to spend a summer semester in Turkey.
Asked what makes her good at her job, Sinett ponders before answering with characteristic openness. “I love people. I listen well. I didn’t always: I was a first grade chatterbox whose seat was being moved all the time. I trust my intuition. I have a profound belief in human goodness, and I guess I inspire trust in others. I’m easy to talk to, and I listen to the whole person, what they say and how they say it.”
Sinett’s experiences with cross-cultural dialogue have led to involvement with the Mercer Regional Chapter of the American Conference on Diversity. A self-confessed optimist, Sinett admits she is a sucker for the reality television show, “The Voice,” and is captivated by its dream-come-true aspect. She is also a flamenco dancer and studies with Lisa Bottalico at Princeton Dance and Theater Studio in Forrestal Village. Besides that, she’s a passionate gardener. “I could weed all weekend; it’s therapeutic, like meditation.”
DEPTH (Delivering Exceptional Presentations That Heal), Plainsboro Public Library, 9 Van Doren Street. Thursday, July 28, 7 p.m. Public speaking students share stories with ESL students. Facilitated by Eileen Sinett. Free. For more information about Comprehensive Communication Services visit https://www.ccs-speech.com. 609-275-2897 or www.lmxac.org/plainsboro.
