Many children find temporary homes with Angel’s Wings until the state can find foster families to care for them. But it also fosters a little fate as well — it is how West Windsor resident Dee Goldstein met her future son.
Goldstein had already been a volunteer with Angel’s Wings since its founder, Father Paul Rimassa, opened a shelter in West Windsor in 1999. When the organization opened its second location at St. Francis Medical Center in Trenton in May, 2000, she volunteered to work the first night shift.
That night, a severely beaten and starved little boy was brought into Angel’s Wings, and Goldstein was immediately drawn to him.
“There was just something about him that wouldn’t let go,” said Goldstein. “I couldn’t forget about him. I couldn’t get him off my mind. He did go to another foster family for nine months. He came back, and he became available again,” and Goldstein was eventually able to adopt the boy, then age 4, in 2004.
Angel’s Wings, a non-profit organization, was founded by the parish community of Our Lady of Sorrows Church in Mercerville, to work with the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) to provide 24/7 emergency care for abused and neglected children from birth through age five, while advocating for their needs and developing foster families.
Eventually Angel’s Wings expanded its accept children up to the age of 12. And that allowed the organization to achieve a secondary goal — keeping siblings together during turbulent family times. Now a program of Anchor House, Angel’s Wings continues to serve as a respite and foster care resource within the guidelines provided by the state Department of Children and Families (DCF).
However, as Goldstein points out, to continue providing the service, the organization relies on its annual fundraising event — the “From Your Heart Gala” Silent Auction and Dinner Dance.
The event will take place on Saturday, February 14, from 6 to 11 p.m. at the Marriott Princeton Hotel and Conference Center at Forrestal off College Road East in Plainsboro. Goldstein says the event gives participants an evening to spend with the special people in their lives, whether it is is a date night for couples, or groups of friends getting together.
“Singles and couples alike come together and have a good time,” Goldstein says. “We’re hoping to bring some of the adoptive parents there, too, to honor them also.”
Since 1999, over 1,”000 children have been guests at Angel’s Wings — 44 have even have even gone on to be adopted by other Angel’s Wings volunteers.
Goldstein met her husband, David, who owns his own building inspection company, AMBIC, while the two attended the University of Maryland together. The couple moved to the township in 1985. Their two other children — Nicole, 20, and Billy, 17 — are also adopted. All of their children have gone through the West Windsor-Plainsboro school district. Dee, who works at Gloria Nelson GMAC, decided to begin getting involved with Angel’s Wings just to help, and after about a year, her husband joined her. As one of the original volunteers, Goldstein has served in every nonpaid position with the organization.
Meeting their third child was not something they had planned. “Sometimes you don’t intend to do it; it just happens,” she said. “I thought I lost him,” she says, after watching him go to another family for nine months. “I guess it was just meant to be.”
While Goldstein is the first in her large family to have gone through the adoption process, it was always natural to have a baby around, she said. Her father worked for the federal government, in the agricultural division, and her mother was a stay-at-home mom. Her husband’s parents also owned a home inspection firm.
The Goldsteins’ first two children were babies when they became part of the family. One of the differences between raising children who are adopted is it is easier for her and her husband, as parents, to see them as individuals. “I don’t look for them to be like me and my husband,” she says. “I look for them to be the best people they can be personally.” Although, she does say that through living with them, the children sometimes do exude some of the traits of her and her husband.
And Goldstein says she believes that each one of the kids were give to her for a reason, to help her grow, and to help them.
Parents who adopt children who are slightly older really just need patience, Goldstein says. With regard to her youngest son, who is now 11, adopting him at age four was slightly more challenging because of the lessons they’ve learned in their previous homes. “Sometimes they have to unlearn a previous behavior,” she said. “The hardest thing for them to do is to trust you and let themselves be loved.”
Still, after working hard for two years, Goldstein recalls with precise detail one such memory that made her effort worth it. “It took from September 28, 2001, until February 12, 2003, at 7:48 p.m., until he told me he loved me,” she said. “And he understood it.”
Before that, “he really didn’t understand what it meant to be loved and be in a family,” she added. That patience included repeating herself a thousand times, trying to ensure her son that he was loved, until he finally understood it. “There’s two ‘I love you’s’ that I remember — one from my husband, and one from him,” she said.
Achieving milestones is a task for which children who have had experiences like her son’s really have to work, but “when they get there, you can beam with pride” as a parent, she said.
For those considering adopting children, Goldstein says that parents should keep in mind that they will not automatically understand and accept what love means. “More importantly, they don’t trust us. To them, love is being abused. They have to unlearn that. It takes time and just patience for them to just accept it. They’ll go so far, and they’ll go two steps forward, and take a step or two back. Once you finally get them to trust, they learn to trust themselves. That’s a huge milestone.”
Such realizations might be difficult for parents to grasp, especially knowing that “my hug couldn’t fix things right away.”
“They must first learn what ‘good’ love is,” she said. “Once they learn that, the healing process can begin and they can start to trust and accept that love. Only then can they let themselves be loved.”
Because her first two children were infants when they came into the family, they did not have to work so hard to build trust. Her son bonded with her older son, Billy, more quickly, since he had been abused by a woman before coming into their home, and he trusted men more easily. In time, he learned to overcome these issues.
And lot of that help came from the WW-P school district, Goldstein emphasizes, saying that he was well received and accepted.
However, as Goldstein points out, more children — like hers once were — are in need of help, and in order to continue providing the service, the organization relies on its annual fundraising event — the “From Your Heart Gala” Silent Auction and Dinner Dance.
She says there are 25 gift baskets being made throughout the West Windsor-Plainsboro school district’s schools, including at the Village School, Dutch Neck School, Grover Middle School and at all of the sites of the West Windsor-Plainsboro Community Education Extended Day program. Last year, gift baskets included themes like chocoloate, sports equipment, TVs, games, arts and crafts, and school supplies. The baskets will be sold at the gala.
Among the events’ sponsors are Tyco, Roma Bank, Walmart, PNC Bank, Gentle Healing Wellness Spa, NJ Association of Licensed Professional Home Inspectors, Richardson Commercial Real Estate and Southern New Jersey Chapter of the American Society of Home Inspectors.
The silent auction — which features over 100 items ranging in value from $10 to $800 — and cocktail hour begins at 6 p.m., followed by welcoming remarks, invocation, and the dinner and dancing. The theme of the evening is “The Gift of Love,” and music will be provided by the Billy Hill Band.
Hill, a Princeton native, was the singer for a rock group known as the Essex back in 1963 when it recorded a song that become the No. 1 hit in the nation: “Easier Said Than Done.”
That title could be the motto for the hardworking Angel’s Wings organization. “Especially in this economic time, it’s tough,” Goldstein says. “But we really need your support because our funding dollars are limited.”
From Your Heart Gala, Saturday, February 14, 6 p.m., Marriott Princeton Hotel. $110. Cocktail attire. For information, visit www.fromyourheartgala.com, or call 609-392-6100, ext. 100. Or call Dee Goldstein at 609-712-2100.
