Reflections of the Season: Troubling Times. Was anyone else aghast — more saddened than surprised, I guess — by a story that emerged this past week about the weakening ethical standards of American youth? The story was based on a survey by a California-based ethics institute that queried almost 30,”000 students at 100 high schools, both private and public, selected randomly from across the United States. The survey found that in the last year:##M:[more]##
— 30 percent of U.S. high school students admitted they had stolen from a store;
— 20 percent said they had stolen something from a friend;
— 23 percent said they had stolen something from a parent or other relative The survey also found that cheating in school is on the rise. In 2006 60 percent said they had cheated at least once and another 35 percent had admitted cheating on more than one occasion. This year 64 percent admitted cheating on a test and 38 percent confessed to doing so two or more times.
Some educators explained that many students are simply responding to the pressure of the times and the temptations that come in a climate of intense competition. “In a society drenched with cynicism, young people can look at it and say: ‘Why shouldn’t we? Everyone else does it.’”
Hello! Isn’t it apparent that any time you condone bad behavior, you are helping to perpetuate it? That children today live in a society abounding with negative role models, and often it is difficult for them to separate bad behavior from good when the very people in positions of leadership are themselves lying and cheating and stealing?
How can young people learn financial responsibility when they see the titans of Wall Street practice bad behavior that has landed our nation in the economic pits? How can children learn to spend responsibly when the adults around them have a policy of spend now, pay later, save never?
When political leaders like Bill Clinton and Eliot Spitzer cheat on their wives and make a mockery of the public’s trust, is it any wonder that some children don’t think twice about cheating on their tests? When business leaders pilfer their company’s coffers and then land on their feet with a gazillion dollar golden parachute, why would you see the problem in helping yourself to an extra sweater or two from the store where you’ve spent lots of good money anyway? Heck, don’t you deserve it, honey!?
Now, more than ever, it is up to parents to set the inner moral compass for their children because society’s seems to be broken.
Tragedy in Mumbai. We heard of the terrorism in Mumbai as our family gathered on Thanksgiving Eve. Though the events were on the other side of the world, they ripped our hearts: many of our friends in the community have loved ones in India. Though they ended up not stopping there, Mumbai originally was part of the itinerary for Katie’s spring break trip to that country. The senselessness of the coordinated killing spree and the randomness of sudden death was heartbreaking — the businessman and father of two, in the wrong place at the wrong time, shot to death as he checked into his hotel; the father and daughter from Virginia eating dinner on a meditation retreat; the rabbi from New York and his wife, killed together in front of their son, even as he was snatched from the clutches of death by his nanny.
Thanksgiving is a time to focus on our blessings and to celebrate homecoming, which made the bloodletting against innocents especially difficult to comprehend. It’s enough that we have to worry about accidents and acts of nature endangering our loved ones traveling home. How awful when you have the threat of atrocities perpetuated by other human beings.
Over The River and Through the Woods.
Suburban Teen: This Thanksgiving weekend was the first time I was in Plainsboro for more than two months since I’ve been away at school in California, and with everything I am grateful for, above all, I was so grateful to come home. Reuniting with my family was the best part about my visit and I could see even more clearly how people and relationships can change in just a short time. Seeing my big sister, especially, was a real treat. All throughout my sister’s high school years, she and I fought and my mother always told us that soon enough, when Katie went to college, we would grow closer. I had started to find out my mother was right and I was happy to spend time with my sister without squabbling, feeling our bond tighten as we shared our new experiences with each other.
Suburban Mom: I was gratified to see them getting along; however, some things never change. For example, you hope they won’t argue over the stupid stuff, but guess who launched right back into the familiar fight about who gets to sit in the front seat? (Apparently all three of my children suffer violent motion sickness at the most convenient/inconvenient times).
Suburban Teen: With my younger brother, who I miss so much, and my parents, I felt like the time we had together was precious, and I tried my best not to send them over the edge though that is sometimes hard to do with my innate stereotypical teenager qualities. Though I felt like I was the same person, I felt closer with my family and very connected to everyone and everything in my household.
Suburban Mom: When you know your children are back home with you for just a short time, you try not to make a big deal about any of the things that drive you crazy. For example, when Molly told us they had to keep their dorm neat and had room inspection every Saturday morning, her father and I exchanged looks of joy, anticipating that the inner neatnik we knew beat in our daughter’s heart would emerge. Not so. Her room at home reflected her sometime nickname: Hurricane Molly. But we let it go, figuring 1) she needed a place where she could rest and relax and not be held so tightly to the rules-home, sweet, home and all that and 2) we knew the hurricane would touch down briefly and then fly away again.
Suburban Teen: When my parents asked me what I thought I want for Christmas this year, I told them that my greatest gift would be coming home. I know airfare is expensive but more than that, I really believe that seeing and feeling close with my family is worth much more than any material gift I could think of. I know that family and education are the most precious gifts and being home this week and being away are helping me realize this.
Suburban Mom: Tuition: Very expensive.
Travel: Very expensive.
The gratitude and growth you see in your children: Priceless.
