Ho. Ho. Ho. It’s that time of year again. The Thanksgiving turkey’s not yet bought, but my kids have already been making their lists and checking them twice, spurred, no doubt by the signs of the merchandising season already decking the malls. Ho. Ho. Ha!##M:[more]##
And guess what’s at the top of my six-year-old’s wish list this year? A new bike, you venture? Nope. A skateboard? Nada. Football? Baseball gear? Bionicles? More Star Wars Legos? Not even close. In fact, the item at the top of Will’s wish list this year also happens to be the only thing on his wish list this year. I hate to break a six-year-old’s heart, but he stands dangerously close to being disappointed on Christmas Day because Santa’s not sure she wants to go there.
This six-year-old, born four years after the explosion of the Internet and smack into the middle of the technology revolution, is asking for an iPod nano. For those of you who are scratching your heads, here’s an online description of what this hot holiday item is all about: “Take everything you love about iPod and shrink it. Now shrink it again. With 2GB (500 songs) and 4GB (1,”000 songs) models starting at $199, the pencil-thin iPod nano packs the entire iPod experience into an impossibly small design. It means you can wear almost three days’ worth of music around your neck. Or jog with 1,”000 songs on your arm.”
There’s no reason on earth why Will would need or want to wear three days’ worth of music around his neck or jog with 1,”000 songs on his arm. I’m not even sure that I would. In fact, the most likely reason he thinks he wants an iPod nano is because his sister Molly wants one and his dad and sister Katie already have the original. This is a child who is very conscious of equal rights. Never mind that he’s the youngest in the family by five years.
And guess what his buddy, Matthew, is asking for? Just turned eight in October, this younger brother who also has two older sisters feels that since they have cell phones, then he has the right to have one too and if his mother won’t get him one, then by golly, Santa will. These boys should become lawyers, so devoted are they to the concept of fairness.
“Why do you want one, who would you call?” queried Matthew’s very patient mother.
“I would call you,” he answered, as if to say, well, who else would you expect?
“You’re always with mommy. You don’t need to call me.”
“Not when I’m in school. I would call you from school. And if you forgot to do something, like send in cookies like that time you really did forget, I could call you and remind you.”
“There’s no way he’s ever going to let me forget that time I forgot, but there’s also no way he’s getting a cell phone,” says Maria. She tells me she believes there’s a value in kids having to wait for something. “First of all, the gift has to be age appropriate, and a cell phone is not appropriate for an eight-year-old. Getting everything when you ask for it devalues that item for the child who doesn’t have the maturity to fully appreciate it. You also ruin it for an older child who has had to wait. Hey, wait a minute, they might say, I had to wait until I was 12 to get a cell phone. Why does he get to have it at eight? It’s not fair! It takes that rite of passage away from them. Something like a cell phone or an iPod should come with age and responsibility. It should be given as something that’s appropriate and deserved, not simply because they want it.”
She also points out the concept that it’s okay for kids to be disappointed sometimes, and if they can grow from their disappointments, it’s a great learning opportunity. “We can’t meet all their needs and make their lives wonderful all time. Kids have to learn that life has its setbacks and disappointments and they can’t let their lives be ruled by their reaction.”
At what age is a cell phone appropriate for kids is a question that pediatrician Vincent Iannelli, who has an online website, tackled head-on with the news that Disney was planning to launch a cell phone service targeting children as young as eight. He nixed the idea for his own seven-year-old, then went on to weigh the pros and cons.
On the plus side is that giving your kids a cell phone lets you stay in touch with them at almost all times, great, especially in case of an emergency. There’s the growth in responsibility that comes as they learn to care for their phone and budget their airtime. On the con side is that the tweens that the cell phone marketers are targeting, those between the ages of 8 and 12, really shouldn’t be alone very much anyway. They should be able to use a regular phone or the cell phone of the adult who’s supervising them. And realistically, how is a six-year-old who misplaces his ice cream money and often can’t find his shoes in the morning going to be responsible enough to own an expensive and fragile item that costs hundreds of dollars?
Katie got her iPod two years ago when she was 13 and her cell phone for her 12th birthday. Molly, who turned 12 in September, has no interest in getting a cell phone and we’re not offering until she asks.
But it turns out that she’s in the minority. Will is not alone in his highly evolved techno taste. According to a poll taken last year, 22 percent of the 500 kids polled listed the iPod as number one on their wish list, followed by 15 percent who wanted a DVD. Eleven percent wanted a cell phone, and nine percent wanted a portable disc player. Compare that to the 500 adults who were polled. When asked what they would have wanted 30 years ago, 15 percent put bicycles at the top of their lists, 12 percent asked for roller skates, 13 percent wanted a radio, and 11 percent wished for a pogo stick.
The two common denominators between today’s kids and the kids of yesteryear (hey, that’s us!) were candy and a real live pet. Isn’t it a comfort to know that some things never change?
So, back to the bottom line. Will the six-year-old find an iPod nano under the Christmas tree this year? It’s going to be a major bummer if his 12-year-old sister gets one and he doesn’t. That’s a tough one, even for Santa. But after lots of questions and lots of soul-searching, I discovered the answer staring right back at me in the name itself. An iPod nano for a six-year-old? Nah! No!
The Suburban Mom has created a “blog” featuring some of her favorite columns that have appeared in the WW-P News over the last year and a half. Find it at suburbanmom.typepad.com. She welcomes comments and suggestions for future column ideas.
